Choosing Between Therapy And Coaching
May 24, 2022
When seeking professional help for personal growth and improving your wellbeing, the first thing that usually comes to mind is to look into therapy. However, some turn to coaching. The two disciplines may be quite similar, but they have their differences. In this episode, Yanet Borrego discusses the difference between therapy and coaching. By the end of today’s show, you will have more than enough information to decide what you actually need.
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Choosing Between Therapy And Coaching
I am beyond excited because we are going to talk about a topic and a question I get over and over. This is a question I also address in my clarity calls, whether I get asked or not. This is the decision between therapy versus coaching. Why am I talking about this distinction? I truly believe we all need to get educated and you need to have all the information to make the best decision for yourself.
People often get confused between therapy and coaching and often, they don't know which one they need. I know in the previous episode, I spoke all about what coaching is. If you haven't read it, please go back to the previous episode if you're interested in an in-depth episode of what coaching is and you need a coach. This episode is about the distinction between therapy and coaching.
I'll be providing you with different elements for both service modalities and examples on both. This is based on my experience. I also interviewed a couple of friends and clients to understand what their perspective was and to make sure that we were aligned. I also did some research on Google. My main intent is to give you a neutral perspective. At the end of the day, it's my perspective. I would love for you to do that research too.
I always tell my students, coaching clients and everyone else and this is some advice that my uncle gave me early on, "Don't believe me. Believe your own experience." Part of that experience is getting educated and researching. I'll try to be as neutral and objective as possible. As you know, I'm a coach who provides coaching services and, at the same time, have had coaching services and therapy services provided to me.
I also have my experience of what the main distinctions are. A quick disclaimer, I believe both services are needed. It all depends on what context of your life you're seeking help in or with. I'm going to be providing you with different elements and examples. Hopefully, at the end of this episode, you'll feel more informed and have the tools to make a decision on which one is the best one for you.
The descriptions here are going to be generalized because this is a quick episode. They're going to be a high-level perspective so you can understand better the main differences. At the end of the day, it depends specifically on what you need help with. Let me start with this analogy, which I love from one of my teachers. His name is Dr. Matt James. He has a PhD in Psychology. He's also a coach and has his training company, Empowerment, Inc.
I've invested in at least eight pieces of training with them. I'm certified as an NLP Practitioner, Master Practitioner and Trainer of NLP. They also have energy healing training, which I love. He gives this example about driving a car. Imagine that you want to drive your car. For some reason, you are feeling this unexplainable anxiety. You cannot see it in the driving seat and start driving your car. You're being challenged by driving your car because you're experiencing anxiety.
You go to a therapist and the therapist asks you, "Why are you feeling this anxiety? Where is this coming from?" Why is the main question? You talk and the therapist listens. You get asked more questions and the therapist listens and stops. It's understanding why you are having this anxiety and what is causing that anxiety? If you go to a coach because you're struggling and challenged with driving this car, the coach seeks to understand what is causing you the anxiety to drive your car.
He helps you overcome that society, get on the driver's seat of the car and stays there with you to empower you and keep you accountable so you can take the action of driving the car. A coach is your best accountability partner. He's very action-oriented. He's going to be there supporting you as you're driving that car. Based on this example, therapy is a lot of listening about the reasons why you're not driving a car. It's more of a conscious process of asking you questions and you responding and listening. There is a lot of listening involved in a process.
Coaching is very action-focused. It is all about, "I'll listen with the purpose of understanding what is exactly stopping you from driving that car, helping you overcome that in a short amount of time so you can get into that driver's seat and drive the car." Therapy is more about listening to why you're not driving the car. I remember working with a therapist not long ago. She was amazing and has helped me a lot.
She would ask me this question over and over in every session we had. The question was, “What is the root cause of you feeling a certain way?” It goes back to that why. “Why are you feeling that way? Is that from your childhood? Where is that coming from?” It's a lot of asking questions and listening. When I work with my coaching clients, from the coaching perspective, I would like to understand the why so I can understand the unconscious programming that they are operating at a deeper level.
I can help them reprogram that programming that it's limiting them so they can move into action and get closer to achieving their goals. Coaching is very action and goals-focused. What are you trying to achieve that you are not there yet? Let's look at your programming, limiting beliefs and habits because there is something there that is not working in your favor. Let's reprogram that to help you get there.
If you want to move closer to your goals, get a coach and a great understanding of how the mind works because what you believe about yourself limits you from getting there.
Therapy is more of a conscious process. At least, in my coaching, I do a lot of neuro-linguistic programming, which is the language of the mind. I'm looking at my client's unconscious programming because, as you may know, most of what we do is unconscious, the habit we run, the same actions we take and the same thoughts we have.
We are living on an automatic pilot. If you want to move closer to your goals, you got to have as a coach a great understanding of how the mind works because, in many scenarios, the mind and what you believe about yourself are limiting you from getting there. A lot of my coaching practice is also helping my clients reprogram their subconscious programming so they can achieve those goals.
Therapy is mainly a conscious process. Coaching, at least my coaching, it's working with your unconscious mind at a deeper level to create and sustain change. My therapist would be asking me and I checked with several of my clients and friends. It is the same. It's very focusing on the past and coping and making sense of the past.
My therapist would ask, "What happened in your childhood that was a trigger for you to feel this way?" I look at the past sometimes with my clients to understand the root cause of the issue. With some of the NLP techniques that I have, once I understand the root cause of the issue, I help my clients release that baggage so they can move forward and set a goal that is in alignment with themselves.
Therapy is coping and making sense of the past. Coaching is very forward-looking, helping you align in the direction that you're walking towards. That's also the difference between therapy and coaching. Therapy, based on my understanding and what I experience, is more of an approach that you go to a therapist whenever you need, which means that you can continue going for years to follow or stop whenever. The therapist has a say.
It's like a more unstructured approach compared to coaching. For example, my coaching program is 3 or 6 months. Sometimes when I've worked with past clients, we have monthly accountability calls to check in but it's a very structured approach. You're walking towards achieving certain goals and getting certain results. You have an end in mind. Whenever you get to those goals, you say new ones. The coach, at the same time, is like, "I'm giving my clients the resources and skills that they need so they can continue moving forward after we finish the coaching program," unless they want to work in another area of life.
For example, I've worked with coaching clients for six months. After those six months, they want to continue working together but this time in romantic relationships. I usually don't work 1 or 2 full years on the same thing. I truly believe I'm giving my coaching clients the resources that they need to succeed as they move forward. From what I've seen, it’s more on the structure like you go when you need it. That's another distinction that I've found.
A lot of therapy is trauma-based. You have a need for stability and are dealing with traumas, so you go to therapy. Coaching is more goals oriented. I do work with clients who are working on personal development. They are seeking to get tools so they can self-regulate their mental and emotional bodies within themselves.
At the same time, for example, I don't work with clients who are experiencing PTSD. That's something that a therapist is way more trained in dealing with people who are experiencing traumas. I have worked with clients who, in the past, have experienced trauma but not one that is experiencing that now and in need of stability like ASAP. That would be more on the therapy front. The main goal is the need for stability that they are lacking at the present moment.
Therapy treats mental illness and trauma. Coaching is more like, "Let me help you gain clarity, find that direction and help you get there." It's more forward-looking, goals and action-based. In my coaching program, I help my clients master their mind and understand how their mind operates. In a way, it's also giving them the tools and the information so they can move forward with alignment and cultivate that potential that they have within themselves.
Coaching is a lot about understanding your potential and helping you get there. Therapy is about healing past trauma. In my coaching program, even before we start coaching, I do have something that I call a breakthrough session that I also offer as a standalone. If a breakthrough session is something you're interested in, I'm going to include the link to schedule a free clarity call to see if we can understand what your challenges are and see if a breakthrough session is a good fit for you.
A breakthrough session is an in-depth session where we dig deeper into your limiting beliefs and baggage. I have a powerful technique that I learned in neuro-linguistic programming called Mental and Emotional Release. There is a whole book on this technique. It's super comprehensive. It’s to help my clients get rid of that baggage from the past, find a root cause and allow them to release a lead goal. They can move by being congruent and aligned to that direction they are seeking to find and define for themselves.
You cannot set a clear direction if you're looking through the eyes of your past.
Even before I started coaching, which is very action-oriented, we do the breakthrough session so we can start with a clean slate. To be honest with you, you cannot set a clear direction if you're looking through the eyes of their past. I work deeply with their unconscious programming because a lot of these beliefs, honestly, they are not conscious about. Based on my training, the certifications and experience I have, I look at the language, contexts and structure they're using to define what the limiting beliefs they are struggling with are.
The breakthrough is a lot of listening, so I can identify those limiting beliefs. We release all that baggage and start moving into coaching. The main purpose of the breakthrough session is to clean the slate so you can move with clarity and direction as you continue defining your goals. Coaching is all about developing yourself towards that desired life of yours and reaching your highest potential. When I look at therapy and coaching, those are the main differences I've seen. I always address these during my clarity call so people have all the information they need.
When I have clarity calls, I've had clients that I've told, "I don't think you need coaching. You need mentorship. I don't think you need coaching. You need therapy." I try to be as transparent and genuine as possible because my only agenda is my client's growth. It doesn't serve me to coach someone who maybe that person doesn't need coaching. They need something else. Part of that is for me as a coach to be informed on the different modalities and services.
I have had coaching clients that they are in therapy too. I have one coaching client that’s in therapy. You can be in both modalities at the same time because they are different. Therapy is about listening, this conscious understanding and asking yourself why you're feeling this way. What triggers looking toward the past? Coaching is very future-forward and action-oriented for you to achieve your highest potential and goals.
I've had clients in the past who are working on therapy and we are working on coaching at the same time. I make sure that is okay for the client and the therapist because it is important to establish clear lines of communication as you continue moving forward. This is it. I wanted to provide you with a clear overview of the distinctions between these beautiful, important and much-needed service modalities related to your mental health, personal development and performance. You have all the information so hopefully, you have a better understanding of when you need any of these modalities.
If coaching is something that interests you, you can schedule these 30 minutes free clarity calls. We can talk about your challenges and decide the best path forward for you. I hope that I get to connect with some of you. I hope you have an amazing rest time. If you found this episode helpful, please share it with your friends and family or someone that may need therapy or coaching. Thank you so much. I'll see you in the next episode. Take care.
Important Links
- Empowerment, Inc
- Clarity Call
- https://www.YBCoaching.com/wellness5minsroutine
- https://www.Facebook.com/yanetbcoaching
- https://www.Instagram.com/yanetbcoaching/
- https://www.LinkedIn.com/company/yanet-borrego-coaching/?viewAsMember=true
- https://www.YouTube.com/channel/UCqxL829o0Vk-QdY12F-GgMw
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