Give Me That Epidural Right Now! - A Lesson on Flexibility
Jan 22, 2025
Giving birth to my first baby made me wonder how often our egos stop us from doing what feels right for the sake of following through with what’s already planned.
Let me explain.
A Medical Diagnosis that Changed My Birth Plan
When I discovered I was pregnant in November of last year I knew I wanted to deliver my baby as naturally as possible. I’m a firm believer in the connection between body and mind and I felt called to research what would make this experience as authentic as possible for me.
My mind went immediately to the possibility of giving birth at home. I read books and watched plenty of home birth videos. I wanted to be as informed as possible to make a decision.
And then at the beginning of my second trimester, I was diagnosed with two blood clots on my right leg. After further studies, it was determined that this was triggered by pregnancy. 2 every 1000 pregnant women are diagnosed with a Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT).
The treatment was daily injections of blood thinners in my belly. From the moment I was diagnosed until I was cleared out of the treatment, I had gone through a total of 200 painful injections. I am extremely thankful for my mom and husband because they were the ones administering the injections.
This diagnosis made my pregnancy high risk which meant, in my case, that I needed to go through an induction and deliver at a hospital.
Home birth was not an option.
Staying Flexible with The Plan
Even though having Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT) on my leg while pregnant is the scariest thing I’ve experienced, I didn’t feel disappointed about giving birth in the hospital.
I was very clear with my intention:
My goal was to make sure my baby and I were safe during the delivery. I was willing to be flexible on how we got there.
Takeaway: Commit to the vision, stay flexible with how you get there. My vision was to have a safe delivery, I was willing to stay flexible with how I got there.
After a couple of disappointments with the medical system, I decided to hire a doula as part of my support team.
My goal was to feel safe before, during, and after delivery.
Takeaway: Build a team around you that makes you feel safe and supported. I changed many of the original doctors I had because I didn’t trust them and I didn’t stop looking until I built a team around me that felt good. This was everything to have a successful delivery of my baby and it also applies to anything else in life.
Choosing Hypnosis to Delivery My Baby
During my consultation call with my doula, I told her that I was interested in having a natural birth (no epidural) and she recommended doing a medical-grade hypnosis course (this is different than Hypnobirthing).
I loved the idea because I am certified as a hypnosis practitioner and I use hypnosis with my clients often so I felt called to follow through with this idea.
I enrolled in the course, practiced hypnosis 1-2 hours daily for 7 weeks in preparation for my birth, and felt confident while doing it (and scared at the same time because it was a new experience).
I Lost Communication with My Doctor
Getting scheduled for my induction was a mission because we had just had an intense storm in Houston and 80% of users had lost power, including ours.
My doctor had lost power in his office and it wasn’t until July 10th that I was able to communicate with him.
I called his emergency number that day and he communicated that my induction was scheduled for the day after, on July 11th.
I remember feeling excited because it meant that Kai was going to be in my arms soon!
The next morning we got admitted into Labor and Delivery.
We were plenty in my hospital room: my husband, doula, my mom, my mother in law and the hospital staff.
When I got into the hospital I was 50% effaced and 2 cm dilated.
To put things into perspective a vaginal birth happens when the cervix is fully effaced (100% thinned out) and 100% dilated. The purpose of an induction is to force this outcome through medical procedures usually due to a health related concern.
Having gone through this process, I can say that the woman body is pure magic.
Contractions Are Starting
The procedures to get induced started at 11:30 am and my first contraction started at 1:40 p.m.
As I stayed fully present with my first contractions, I thought to myself: “Is this it? I can totally tolerate this pain.”
After 12 hrs of experiencing contractions with no epidural, the pain had become unbearable and I was 7-8 cm dilated.
I was applying all of the techniques I had learned to manage the pain while listening to my hypnosis audios, but it was extremely hard to focus.
I was reaching my limit of exhaustion and I still needed to push my baby out!
I am keeping it real here!
It was very very very painful, mainly because I was being medically induced so my contractions were being triggered by chemicals outside of my body and I had decided to not have pain medication.
Asking for Permission to Alleviate My Pain
I remember looking at my doula while I was supporting my body against Cody as I was going through contractions and asking her: “I think I should get an epidural, what do you think?”
And she would say: “do what you feel is right. I am here to support you.”
Looking back I was asking for permission because a part of me wanted to give up the plan and a part of me wanted to stay resilient with what I had said.
See? Integrity is a very important value of mine and I often strive to follow through with what I said I was going to do.
I have a hard time giving up. But sometimes resilience can become a disadvantage when the path that you’re in doesn’t align with you anymore.
We’ve been taught that the more pain you tolerate the stronger you are.
So I kept going, I was committed to do it all natural!
The pain had become unbearable and after 2 hrs I was still at 8 cm.
I Changed My Mind, I Quit!
At that moment, I knew I could do it with no epidural but I also knew I could choose to do it without the pain.
I looked at my doula and asked again: “I want the epidural, what do you think?”
And she said: “At this stage, it would help you relax your body because you’re too tense.”
Takeaway: Tolerating more pain doesn’t make you stronger. Quitting is ok. If you’re not believing in how you’re executing your vision anymore, why follow through? Allow yourself to experiment with how you execute your plan.
My body was exhausted and I had been at 8 cm for a while.
What a relief! I have gotten the permission that I was seeking.
Takeaway: Your first gut feeling is always right. Trust yourself. You don’t need permission from anyone else.
Immediately I told the nurses: give me that epidural right now!
Within 30 mins, I was in heaven. No more pain and I had dilated immediately to 10 cm.
There comes a moment when the pain of not quitting the plan is bigger than the joy of following through with the vision.
THIS IS THE MOMENT WHEN YOU QUIT!
Takeaway: Give yourself permission to change your mind. What feels right when a decision is made may feel different when the plan is being implemented. There are no permanent decisions, you’re in control to pivot.
My Baby Boy Is Finally Here
After few hours of pushing, my baby boy was delivered safely into my arms.
It felt like a marathon. By the way, if I have a second kid, I’m requesting that epidural ASAP!
My baby boy’s first cry was the most enlightening and magical sound I’ve experienced. It meant he was here safe with me.
Kai was born on July 12th at 7:59 a.m. and changed our lives forever.
Summary of Lessons I Learned from My Son’s Birth
This powerful experience was a metaphor for the following life lessons:
- Commit to the vision, stay flexible with how you get there. My vision was to have a safe delivery, I was willing to stay flexible with how I got there.
- Give yourself permission to change your mind. What feels right when a decision is made may feel different when the plan is being implemented. There are no permanent decisions, you’re in control to pivot.
- Tolerating more pain doesn’t make you stronger. Quitting is ok. If you’re not believing in how you’re executing your vision anymore, why follow through? Allow yourself to experiment with how you execute your plan.
- Build a team around you that makes you feel safe and supported. I changed many of the original doctors I had because I didn’t trust them and I didn’t stop looking until I built a team around me that felt good. This was everything to have a successful delivery of my baby and it also applies to anything else in life.
- Your first gut feeling is always right. Trust yourself. You don’t need permission from anyone else.
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