Healing Yourself Using Emotion And Body Code With Paola Rosser

When we experience traumatic moments in life, especially in our earliest childhood, our subconscious minds gain a self-loathing programming that destroys us from within. Paola Rosser attained deep internal wounds because of her abusive mother, which made her a slave of her negative feelings and toxic relationships. Thankfully, she was able to heal herself by tapping into her authentic emotions and knowing her body code. Joining Yanet Borrego, Paola shares how she was able to turn her life upside down through the love of her father and her husband. She also looks back on her transformative experience of becoming a coach who now guides others on overcoming trauma and embracing a meaningful self.

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Healing Yourself Using Emotion And Body Code With Paola Rosser

I am super excited because I have a special guest, Paola Rosser, to talk about healing yourself using emotion and body code. I cannot wait to learn more about these modalities because she's the best at this. Paola Rosser is a down-to-earth force behind the Fearless Female Movement. She has an amazing community. As the Founder and CEO, she's driven by a mission to dismantle the chains of fear imposed by old ideologies and the subconscious mind. 

Paola employs a unique blend of coaching and subconscious healing that helps women overcome their past challenges and embrace their inner power. With emotion and body code as her compass, Paola leads women on a healing journey, enabling them to emerge as fearless architects of their destinies. I'm so inspired by you. How are you doing, Paola? Thank you for being here with us.

Thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here and share my story and how emotion and body code can help your subconscious mind get unstuck.

Paola’s Backstory

I cannot wait. To give everyone some background on how we met, and how we connected, we met on a mastermind together that one of our business friends introduced us to and we have been connecting every week and keeping each other accountable. I felt so connected to Paola because 1) She's on this amazing mission to empower women and help women heal and become the best version of themselves and 2) because we both love and we work with the subconscious mind. Honestly, emotion and body code are not something I'm familiar with. I'm excited to learn more about it. 

Let me start from the beginning. I am Mexican. I am 1 of 7 kids. I'm the last kid to be born. Me and my younger sister who's only a year and a half older than me are what we call the anchor babies. We were born in America so that my parents could have citizenship. When I was born, my mom didn't want me. They already had their anchor baby, which was my sister who was a year and a half older than me. I was an accident and she was done with having children. Growing up, my mom would tell me to my face, “I never wanted you.” 

The way she treated me made me feel that there was something inherently wrong with me. She was both abusive physically and emotionally. When you grow up in that environment, the child doesn't look at their abuser like, “You're awful. You're a horrible human being.” The child looks at themselves and thinks, “There's something wrong with me.” That's basically all of my childhood. I believed that there was something wrong with me. My siblings joked around with me and laughed at me and they would make jokes and say, “Mom found you in a trash can.” 

I don't look a lot like my siblings. I'm lighter skinned. I'm taller than most of them. I don't have an accent like they do. I did feel like maybe I was adopted or maybe I was found. I used to pray for my parents to get a divorce because they were in a toxic relationship. I saw them physically fight each other. My dad never hit her, but my mom would hit him. My dad was an alcoholic. This environment basically downloaded this program. I want to tell your audience, which they probably already know, that our brain is a supercomputer. 

If you've ever read any books from Joe Dispenza and Dr. Bruce Lipton, the brain is recording the program from years 0 to 7. If you can think about the environment that I was growing up in from 0 to 7, the program that was being downloaded into my brain was that life is a struggle. Love is painful, love is toxic, and love is abusive. We express our emotions with anger, screams, yelling, punching, pulling hair, scratching. It was chaos. It was utter chaos. As a child, I grew up walking on eggshells and I didn't even know what that term was. 

I honestly didn't know that the term for anxiety is the feeling of walking on eggshells because I didn't know what I was going to wake up to. I didn't know if my mom was going to be in a good mood. I didn't know if my dad was going to be there. I didn't know what was going to entail because if it wasn't my mom and dad fighting, it was my siblings fighting each other or my mom and my dad fighting my siblings or me fighting my other sibling. It was a constant, chaotic environment.

Fast forward, now I am a teenager. My goal to leave my family was to get a college degree and to get out of the house because I watched Saved by the Bell growing up. I was also a latchkey kid because my dad owned his own business and my mom would go to work with my dad. Most of the time, my sister and I were left to our own devices, and I watched a lot of television. It was my comfort. Saved by the Bell had the Saved by the Bell College years. I remember having this a-ha moment thinking, “This is my ticket out. This is how I'm going to get out of my parents' house. I'm going to go to college and I'm going to live in a dorm and I'm going to do the very best that I can.”

I did everything I could to get a scholarship and get out of that house. I got my time to go to San Diego State and I was so excited. I remember like, “This is it. I'm out of the house. I'm out of that toxic environment. I can create my own life,” but I didn't know that in the back of my mind, the program that was downloaded into my brain from 0 to 7 was still running the show.

The subconscious programming was still running the show. Even though I was out of that environment, I recreated the patterns with friends, coworkers, bosses, and relationships. I got into so many toxic relationships, two of which were both physically violent and emotionally violent. I was in this place of stuckness. You don't look at the outside world thinking like, “There's something wrong with them.” I took it inward and was like, “There's something wrong with me.” 

Every single time something bad happened in my life, whether I lost my job or a friend slept with my boyfriend or a flat tire, whatever, anything bad that happened in my life, the record would play and I could hear my mom's voice or I could hear my own voice that said, “You're not good enough. You're not worthy. There's something inherently wrong with you. Nobody loved you. Remember, even your own mom didn't want you.” Those words would play in the back of my mind and I did not know how to stop them. I would go into these deep depressions.

I would be self-loathing and self-abusive. My negative self-talk was off the charts. I got to the place where I contemplated unaliving myself because I felt like everybody else was doing life right except for me. I felt like I was the only one that didn't understand how to get my life in order, even though I was checking all the boxes. I was the first in my family to go from high school to college without getting pregnant in between. I was the first to leave my family home without being pregnant or married. I was the first in my family to get a corporate job and not work for the family business or become a teacher.

I felt like I was checking the boxes, yet I was still in this deep depression and it spiraled the day that my father died because that year, 2006, the beginning of that year, I got out of my toxic relationship. He had been abusing me emotionally and physically for a couple of years. We were living together and he was having his friends over and they were smoking weed. I told him to keep it down. I went back to my room because I had to wake up and go to work the next day. He came into the room and he was about to put his hands on my neck and choke me out for disrespecting him in front of his friends. 

My friend at the time, who was a mutual friend of ours, walked in the door, and the look on her face made me think, “I'm in my own Lifetime movie.” I am the woman that I yell at the TV screen, saying, “Get out. Why are you still with him?” I was that woman. The look on her face was my a-ha moment that I needed to get out of that relationship.

In January of 2006, I packed my bags, left our apartment, and went to go move in with my sister. My birthday's January 26th, so I had left him at the beginning of January, so around my birthday, I was still pining for his love. I even went to visit his mom, and I was like, “Please beg him to come back to me, beg him to see me, love me, and respect me.” The mom cried and she looked at me and said, “I feel bad. He turned into his dad. Everything that he did to you and he's doing to you,” because he would steal money out of our bank account and he would disappear for the weekend and turn off his phone. I wouldn't know where he was. He would push me up against the wall. He'd slam my head against the floor. 

He'd walk into a room and tell me, “If I wasn't with you, I'd be with that girl over there,” to make sure that I felt insecure about what I look like. She said, “He does everything that his dad did. Did you ever hear the story of why we got a divorce?” I said, “No. He never told me.” She said that she was a nurse all of her life. She said one day she got in the mail, her retirement, 401(k) statement, and her husband at the time, now her ex-husband, had stolen over $40,000 from her 401(k). She was like, “He gambled it away.” My ex at the time was a big gambler that's why he would leave for the weekend. He would be at the casinos trying to double our money. 

I would be the one struggling having to figure out how to pay rent and how to pay our bills because I made more money than he did. I remember her sitting across the couch from me, crying and telling me that he turned into his dad. I said, “I don't want him. I don't want to be you when I'm in my 40s. Thank you.” I grabbed my purse and I left the house. That was my first insight that we can become our parents. We can continue the pattern if we don't become aware of what we're doing because it is this subconscious automatic pattern that you repeat. 

We can do the negative patterns of our parents if we don’t become aware of what we are doing.

That you're completely unaware of because when you grow up from the ages of 0 to 7, you're downloading this program of how you be and how you act. Even if the parent isn't telling you, “This is how we act when we're angry, this is how we act when we're sad,” you're mirroring and you're watching. A child is like a sponge. You have little kids and you see them, they say a bad word and you're like, “Where did you get that bad word?” 

You are not telling them to say the bad word, but they're watching you, they're mirroring you, they're observing, they're becoming a sponge and they're like they want to learn. They look at their caregivers as their heroes. They're like, “I want to be like my dad. I want to be like my mom.” The beginning of my first dark night of the soul was leaving that relationship. I remember my fight or flight mode is to flee. In that period was the most devastating heartbreak because it was the first guy I'd ever lived with. 

When we separated, it was like a mini divorce like, “Here's all your DVDs and you keep this.” He was awful. He was mean and angry. I remember one time I tried to talk to him and he was punching my car as he was sitting in the driver's seat and he's like, “Nice guys finish last.” I'm looking at him like, “You are definitely not the nice guy.” He was devastated that we were separating everything. I packed up all my bags. I didn't have a job. 

I didn't have a roommate and left my town, which was Riverside to Orange County by the beach, because I am an Aquarius, so I always wanted to be next to water and the ocean. It always made me feel at home. I found an apartment on Craigslist. I found a roommate on Craigslist. I had no job and I had everything with that I ever owned in a small U-Haul van sitting outside my new apartment. Here I am in a whole new place, like how I left college. I left this relationship in a whole new town and a whole new place. 

Yet, the subconscious record was still playing, “You're not good enough, you're unwanted. Nobody loves you. You're unworthy. You're stupid. You're ugly.” I remember I would wake up at 3:00 AM or 4:00 AM, bawling my eyes out and still not understanding what I was doing wrong. I met this woman and she gave me the book The Secret. Now it's 2008. In that year, before I moved away, my father died unexpectedly. In January, when we broke up, March 2006 was when my father died unexpectedly and that was my big like, “I'm leaving. I don't want to be here anymore. This is too painful. I can't be here.” That's when I moved to Orange County. 

For the rest of the year, the first year in Orange County, I woke up every single day, 3:00 AM or 4:00 AM in this undeniable grief pain. It was the most pain I'd ever felt. If you've ever lost a loved one and then on top of got out of a toxic relationship and you were in this place and I remember having these conversations with God like, “Please, help me. I don't want to be here anymore. Please, I don't want to be here anymore.” I ended up meeting a friend and I remember I begged for friends because I had no friends. I had moved to this new town. I had no friends. 

I remember asking God, “Please, bring me friends.” He brought me this beautiful woman. Her name is Rachel, and she's still one of my closest friends. She actually moved from Australia to Huntington Beach and that's where I was living and we had become good friends. I told her everything that was going on in my life, and she said, “You need to read the book The Secret.” I said, “What's this book?” She handed it to me, and she said, “I also downloaded it on DVDs.” She gave me the book, The Secret, on Audible, on a CD.

I remember playing it on my way to work, and I would listen to it every single day. When I first listened to it, my initial response was, “This is not going to work for me. I'm Mexican. This won't work for me.” I come from a family whose poverty level. I was like, “This is not going to work for me.” I'm a researcher at heart and I like to put things to the test. I started putting some of the principles into the test. I kid you not, I manifested a new job, new friends, a new boyfriend and a new apartment. 

Things were starting to look up, but the record in the back of my mind was still playing, “You're not good enough. You're unlovable.” All these things were still playing. Guess what? I repeated the pattern. The friends were toxic. The job was toxic. My boss was toxic. Everything was toxic. Even though it seemed good on the outside, it still had that underlying barrier that people were still treating me disrespectfully, betraying me, hurting me, being spiteful, and using me. I'm like, “What is going on? Why is this still happening to me?” 

Breaking The Pattern

Quick question. By the way, your story is incredible. I'm sure the readers are here with their jaws open like, “Wow.” Where you came from, the fact that that was your past and, of course, this episode is like on your healing journey to become this empowered person and not only that, to guide women to be the same. First of all, I want to celebrate you for that because I think that's incredible. Thank you for your vulnerability. I was thinking, you broke the pattern initially when your dad died. What was it about your dad's death that you were like, “This is enough?” I was curious about that.

First of all, between my two parents, my dad was the one that told me that he loved me, that I was a princess, that I was beautiful, and that I was smart. I hate saying this out loud. When that happened it was like, “Why the little bit of ray of light was taken from me?” I feel bad saying this but like, “Why couldn't you take my mom, who was awful?” My mom was awful and she was the one that caused me the most pain. She was my monster. She was the abuser.

I was 26 when my dad died, I was living at my sister's house because I was going through a breakup and I was living at my sister's house. When they called code blue and everybody said their goodbyes at the hospital, everybody left to their respective homes. Everybody had their own husband and wife, my sisters and everybody. I was the only one that was single and newly broken up with.

I went to my sister's house and I remember laying there on the bed while she was in the living room with all of her kids and explaining what death is. I remember thinking about my mom and I'm like, “She's all alone and she needs somebody.” I remember I went and I spent the night with her. First of all, when I got to the house, she wasn't alone. She was with all my aunts. I spent the night with her and all she talked about was herself and how mean I was to her, how I don't give her any money, how I'm so disrespectful,

I remember thinking, “She doesn't get it.” Now, after so much research and stuff, I know that she's a narcissist and she's an emotionally immature parent, but back then, I didn't have those tools. I didn't have the words or the vernacular to be able to express who she is and how she is now. I accept her. I have a totally different relationship with her now, but that's why I wanted to leave.

I could not bear being in the same environment as her. I could not bear watching her grieve when I knew she never loved my dad. I knew she didn't love my dad. She pretended. She used it as her platform when it was like, “You never left my dad. You never treated him right. You treated him like crap. The reason why my dad was an alcoholic was because he was trying to escape you and your abuse in your narcissistic ways.”

Unfortunately, his end was because he drank too much. He was hurt and he was in pain. I couldn't be there anymore. It's like I felt I saw everything, but no one else was seeing it. I couldn't be in the same environment anymore because everyone in my family, and even to this day, my family's like, “That's the way it is. That's the way mom is. That's the way we are. We don't need therapy. We're okay.” For me, I could not live in the same vibrational frequency as everybody else. I left and I had to be alone. 

I always resonate with that quote that says, “You can't heal in the same place that broke you.” I knew that I had to leave. There was something in my spirit, there was something in my soul, and I'm telling you, I'm an Aquarius, so the beach was calling my name. I felt like that's where I was going to heal the most. I did a lot of healing by the beach and it was an incredible time in my life. So many awakenings and a-ha-moments happened to me while I lived in that area. Yeah, that's why I left. 

Reverting To Old Ways

That's powerful because I identified with that story because it's in the moments of death, like me thinking I'm going to die from a panic attack or my uncle who was like my dad, like that person that you are describing was him. When he died, that's when I had my second awakening of taking more aligned action and making better decisions. I feel that was very similar to you. Having that moment, that death as your teacher allowed you to reconnect with yourself, go to the beach like the Aquarius you are and have that great moment. Thank you so much for providing that clarity. You went to a beach, started The Secret, and started using the concepts, but ended up going to your old ways. What happened afterward?

I was manifesting these things and I'm thinking everything's great. I know exactly what I'm doing. I even went to therapy and started reading more books. From 26 to 33, I was still using the same coping mechanisms, drugs, alcohol, and men. As I said, that record was still playing and I still didn't have all the right tools. I had one book, The Secret. I was manifesting, but I was manifesting the wrong way because I was still vibrating at a lower frequency and I was attracting the things that I wanted, but they were in that same lower frequency, like toxic men, toxic friends, toxic bosses. I attracted another toxic man. This time, he also decided to place his hands on me.

The last time he placed his hands on me, we were at a bar and he was laughing about a text message and he tried to lie to me and tell me it was an ESPN alert, but I had already been with him for six months. I already knew all of his alerts on his phone. I grabbed his phone, ran up the stairs at this club, and the bouncer stopped him at the bottom of the stairs. As I was at the top of the stairs, I had enough time to put in his code and check what he was laughing at. It was his ex-girlfriend texting him, “Your place or mine?” I knew, and I had already had this gut feeling.

Ladies, we are all equipped with this beautiful thing called intuition. We all have this beautiful gift. I was having prophetic dreams before I found out that he was cheating on me. I was literally having dreams of someone telling me, “Check his phone. There's something going on here. Get out.” Every morning, I would wake up with this fluttering in my heart, like anxiety. I'm like, “What is this?” I always used to talk to God out loud. I still do when I'm home by myself so I don't look like a crazy person, I talk to God out loud. I remember being in my small studio apartment and I would be like, “What is this? Is he cheating on me? Show me more signs.” 

It's like, “I've already given you the sign, Pao,” but I needed concrete signs even though the sign was there. The prophetic dreams were there. The fluttering of the heart, the anxiety, everything, the red signs were all there. Until I saw it with my own eyes, black and white. I remember I grabbed the phone and I tossed it to the ground. I tried to break up with him a couple of times and he'd always come back to me, “I love you to the moon and back, please forgive me,” and I always forgave him.

That day, I threw the phone on the ground and his screen cracked, and because his screen cracked and I caught him, he grabbed me by the neck and started choking me out and hitting me with his other hand. Here I am on the side of a restaurant being choked out by this guy who's abusive, toxic, and such a loser. I had this a-ha moment like, “I'm here yet again, Paola. You're here, yet again.” I remember that entire year, I took an entire year off of drinking drugs and men. I stopped dating. I couldn't trust myself. I went to become a hermit because I couldn't trust my own decisions in friendships, in men and bosses. I felt like I couldn't trust myself. 

I literally went deep down and I was like, “There is something inherently wrong with you that you can't figure this thing out called life.” I got into this deep dark night of the soul depression. I was drinking. I lost my job. I was drinking NyQuil to sleep the day away so that I wouldn't step out of my house and spend money. One night, I remember I was washing the dishes and I was crying my eyes out and telling God like, “I don't want to do this anymore. I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to do life. I don't know what to do. I can't do this anymore.” 

I remember drinking a lot of NyQuil. I lived in a small studio apartment so my bed faced my front door. That night, I kid you not, my front door opened wide, and a billow of white clouds opened up my door. It was bright. That was the middle of the night and now my room is bright with a white cloud and my dad walked in. He was in perfect form. I jumped out of the bed and I ran to him and I said, “Papi, I want to be with you.” He said, “It's not your time yet, no es tu tiempo. Pero te voy a decir algo, I'm going to tell you something. It's going to get better. It’s going to get so much better. I remember waking up and catching my breath. I kid you not, within two months, my whole life flipped upside down.

It flipped completely upside down. I was already doing the work, but I didn't know what I was doing because, during the time that I was a year sober, I went to church three times a week. I was trying to find answers. I remember that on Sundays, I would come home and watch Supers Soul Sunday, and every time Supers Soul Sunday had a guest, I would get their book.

It was Tony Robbins, Jack Canfield, Gabrielle Bernstein, Michael Bernard Beckwith, Wayne Dyer, and every book I could think of. I was reading and writing down my list of things I wanted, including what I wanted in a husband. I was pretending and acting as if he already existed. After that prophetic dream, three months later, my now husband asked me out on a date. I didn't know who he was, what he did, how special he was, but he was the co-founder of a company called Kajabi.

This is an amazing story. I'm a fan of Kajabi. I use it for everything but first of all, that story about your dad. 

I could never say it without crying because it gets me every time. I've talked to so many healers and shamanic, seers and I'm always, “Was it a dream? Did he come to me?” They always say, “Whatever you felt was real for you. If you believe that he came to you.” I remember holding him. I felt him. It felt real.

Meeting Her Husband

I believe it. Even through dreams, that's another way our subconscious mind, our intuition communicates. There is so much guidance to be gained through dreams. We are just not educated on it. I think that's such a powerful thing. He came, he gave you the guidance, he gave you the hope. How did you meet your husband? Where did you meet? Did you meet him in church? Where is this?

No. Actually, it's crazy because I was his property manager for two years prior, and then he asked me out on a date. I knew him as Travis from Kajabi. I didn't even know what Kajabi was. I didn't even know what they did. Inside, their office always seemed like they were playing on computers and playing ping pong and riding skateboards. I never knew what they did.

I remember when I first started working for the company that I worked for, they were like, “These are your new tenants.” I had to go and introduce myself and I say my name as Payola because my second-grade teacher couldn't pronounce my name, Paola. She Americanized it. I've always been Payola since I was in second grade. I remember introducing myself and he's like, “What? How do you say your name? I'm like, “Payola, you pay me the rent. That’s how you’ll remember me.”

That’s your brand, right?

Yeah. He was my tenant and they had a small condo-type office. All of a sudden, their company started to take off, and their company went from a small condo with 15 employees to now 30 employees and then moved to a bigger office. When their company had to resize, I was chosen to be their project manager. My boss was so toxic he didn't even give me a raise to do extra work, but I was such a pick-me people pleaser that I was like, “I'll do it,” which actually served me because now I'm married to him.

I met him every week for an entire year. I remember thinking he was the funniest, most charismatic, intelligent man, but I never put myself out there to date him in any way because, after that last relationship, I was done with men. I was like, “I never want to be with another man. I'm not going to be a lesbian, but I'm going to be the best property manager, the best aunt, the best friend, the best sister I could ever be, but I will never be in another relationship,” because I couldn't trust myself.

I felt like I had the worst picker. I was like, “I'm not going to do it anymore. I'm going to be single for the rest of my life and I'm going to enjoy being single.” One day, he asked me out on a date and I knew that he had a girlfriend. I'm like, “Didn't you have a girlfriend?” He said, “We broke up in October.” He asked me out in December and I said, “Sorry, I can't.” He is like, “Why?” I said, “Because I can't date anybody I work for.” I remember he said, “Just buy the building.” This guy.

I remember going back to my desk and I was like, “Who cares? I'm not going to date him.” Ten days later, I was sitting in my apartment, because I had moved out of my studio and got my own apartment because I paid off all my credit card debt because I read the book, The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. I tell you, I put things to the test.

I love it and you took action.

Yeah, and I paid off $18,600 in a year and a half. I was living in a new apartment with new furniture. I remember I was shredding pieces of paper on a Saturday night. I bought a shredder from Costco and I was watching Grey's Anatomy. I remember thinking to myself, “This can't be my life. This can't be my life to be alone. I'm like a badass chick. I'm the coolest. I will love someone so hard and I shouldn't be alone.” I remember I texted him and I said, “I would love to pick your brain on a business idea.” At the time, I had a side hustle. I did photo booths for weddings. I was like, “I don't know what Kajabi does and maybe he'll build me a website and I'll get a free meal out of it.” It turns out I got more than that.

You got married from there. 

I got married, yes. When I tell you he turned my entire life upside down, he did. I went from struggling to learn how to love myself to learning how to love myself because he loved me unconditionally. Not only did he love me unconditionally, but he also gave me the space to dive into self-help, therapy, and figuring myself out. In the first part of the first year of our marriage, I think I gave the ring back to him at least twenty times because I couldn't understand his love.

I couldn't understand his patience. I couldn't understand him because I've always grew up with very toxic behaviors. My mom, if we got into fights, she would ignore me for a year or she would stop talking to me. She'd tell my sisters and brother what a horrible person I was. Everybody would take sides. It was like this toxic environment. When I met Travis, I remember I was repeating some of the patterns and one of them is like in my family, we'd make fun of each other until we hurt each other and someone stormed off. 

I remember at the beginning of our relationship, I tried to crack jokes and Travis would say, “Those aren't funny jokes. Those hurt my feelings. I don't ever want you to say that.” I was like, “Wait, what?” I didn't understand someone standing up for themselves, someone having boundaries. I didn't understand his way of living and his way of loving. I learned with him and through him and all the books. When we first got married, he was like, “You should read this book on Audible.” He gave me his login. He was married before and he himself is the same as I am. We analyze ourselves and we try to dig deep.

He was in a very toxic relationship for fifteen years with his ex-wife, who happened to also be toxic and narcissistic. He had all these books in his Audible like how to deal with a narcissist, how to have a better marriage, how to know yourself, how to self-love. He was trying to save that marriage, which could never be saved. He eventually got a divorce. He had all these books, and he said, “You should read this book. You should read this book.” I was telling him how my mom acted and he was like, “I know that personality type. You should read these books.”

Coaching Session

I learned a lot. The more that I learned, the more that I was like, “Everybody needs to know this stuff. Why wasn't this taught to me in high school?” Why wasn't I taught that thoughts become things that what you focus on becomes your reality? Why didn't I learn that patterns are repeated? Why didn't I learn that I'm running a subconscious program? I remember I was reading one of Jack Canfield's 21 Success Principles and I was on a dentist chair and I was like, “Everybody needs to know this and I'm going to teach everyone and I'm going to call it an accountability group.”

I went on Facebook. I started a Facebook page and my husband was like, “What you're doing is coaching. You should do coaching.” At first, I was hesitant because I felt, again, not good enough, not worthy. It took me a year to finally launch the Fearless Female Movement because I had to go through my own fears and pass through them, but I finally did launch it.

Eventually, I started learning more. To this day, I am constantly reading. I'm constantly perfecting my craft. I got my body code certification and emotion and body code heal the subconscious mind. There are so many ways to reprogram the brain. Repetition is one of them, if you think about it. When you go to elementary school or kindergarten and they teach you the ABCs, they don't tell you the ABCs one time and say, “Okay, Yanet, ya te lo intiendes. Now it's the next kid.”

No. They tell you the ABCs over and over until it’s automatic. If you have been told, and if you've been in an abusive household, whether you were a child or you were a teen or when you were an adult and you were in an abusive relationship or marriage, you can easily turn that around by doing affirmations, repetitiveness over and over to correct it. The brain is programmable. You could insert the program that you want. 

Marketing companies know these to the core. That's why you see ads since you’re a kid, the apps and ads and you can memorize them. It’s because they're repeating the same ads over and over. 

We're in good hands with Allstate, O'Reilly Auto Parts. Everybody knows these commercials. If the marketing companies can implement that, and if your abuser or narcissistic ex-husband can input that fear of like, “You're not good enough, you're stupid, you're too fat, you're ugly, nobody's going to want you,” you could reverse that and say, “Actually, I'm beautiful. I'm smart, I'm talented, I'm skilled, I'm amazing and I'm lovable. I'm surrounded by love.” 

The more you can do that, the more you can reprogram your mind into being someone different and creating a different reality. The other thing is that I started to become a coach and I started to work with clients and I work with clients ages 20 to 60. I love clients who are at the beginning of their healing journey, in the dark night of their souls and don't know how to find the light. I love to be the person with a flashlight.

You're then their guide.

I love to be their guide. I put them through my program. I taught them all the tools that I've learned through different teachers. I did get my certification through the Tony Robbins Leadership Academy. I started to notice that even though they knew all the tools, there would be moments in their life where they would still repeat the pattern. They would still go back to their old subconscious programming. They would still tell me, “I feel this or I feel that.” It wasn't until I read the book The Emotion Code, which was actually prefaced by Tony Robbins,. I was a huge Tony Robbins fan. I went to all of his events. Destiny. I went to Fiji. I did Life and Wealth Mastery. I know. I told you my husband spoiled me.

I have gone to Unleash the Power Within twice.

I've done Unleash the Power Within, Date with Destiny, Leadership Academy, and spiritual retreat. I did Life and Wealth Mastery. I’ve done Business Mastery. I've done all of his events. The book, The Emotion Code actually the preface of the book was written by Tony Robbins. I was like, “If Tony Robbins believes in this, then I need to read this book.” It's basically a healing modality where you give me permission to tap into your subconscious mind and if you believe in the woo-woo and the spirituality stuff, we're all one. We all come from the same source. We're all connected.

For those of you who are reading, have you ever thought about your friend? You're thinking about your friend, “I want to talk to Sue. I haven't talked to Sue. I wonder what Sue is doing. I hope Sue is doing good.” Three days later, Sue text messages you, “You've been on my mind.” We are connected. We're very connected. When we can tap into our intuitive gifts, we amplify them.

I ask you, “Can I tap into your subconscious mind?” I then ask for a prayer. I do a prayer out loud and I ask God, source the divine, your guardian angels, your ancestors, your highest self for guidance, and then I ask to find any blocks, any misalignments, any imbalances in your body, in your subconscious mind, any negative trapped emotions, and help me remove them. 

Now, the subconscious mind is like a record keeper of the past. If you are old enough and you went to the library, remember when you would pull the little boxes and they would have every single book that's ever been inside the library? Think of that. In the back of your subconscious mind, there are multiple files of every event, every experience that you've ever had in your entire life. With every event and every experience, if you grew up in an environment that I grew up in, there are a lot of negative emotions attached to it. 

What happens is that we store these negative emotions attached to these experiences and events. The subconscious mind, its only job is to protect you. It's to protect you from everything outside that's going to hurt you. Tigers and bears and all that stuff, but we don't have tigers and bears anymore. We have people who are going to trigger us, people who are going to humiliate us, backs stab us, betray us, hurt our feelings. We pull up these negative emotions and we're like, “We have to feel these so that no one can hurt us anymore.” 

With emotion and body code, what I do is tap into your subconscious mind. I ask your highest self, your angels, and everyone to help me guide find any blocks. What I do is I ask and I have a chart that Dr. Bradley Nelson created. He's been doing this for years. He created a chart. I go through the chart and ask your subconscious questions, yes or no, right or left. It can only give me yes or no answers, right or left. I get down to the chart.

Let me give you a couple of examples. I had a woman who was in her 60s and she wanted to find out what she was stuck on. She always felt humiliated and had a hard time expressing herself. The first thing I found was at the age of fifteen, she was trapped in humiliation. There are three ways you can trap negative emotions. You own it, you absorbed it, or it was inherited. Basically, you got it in your mother's womb or your dad had it and gave it to you while he was the other half of the egg.

She was like, “I don't remember the age of fifteen.” She's 60 years old. At that moment, my legs started to tingle. The woman who taught me how to be a practitioner said, “If you ever feel anything in your body, say it out loud because it might mean something to them.” I said, “I don't know what's going on, but my legs are tingly right now.” She said, “Now, I remember.” What happens in that moment, once we figure out what was trapped, I always ask, “Is this yours? Is this absorbed? Is this inherited?” The subconscious mind will say, “Yes, no, yes, no.” This was hers. She said, “I don't remember why I trapped it.” 

When I told her that my legs were tingling, it was like the subconscious mind brought the file to her conscious mind. She remembered it in an instant. She said, “I was on the swimming team and I had fat legs, and every time I took off my towel, the girls would laugh at me and mock me. I was humiliated and so I'd always put my towel back on.” We released it using magnets because energy is magnetic. I've had other people do different sessions and everyone comes with whatever it is that they're blocked, either money block, creative blocks, they're triggered, they have anxiety, there's sadness. They feel stuck.

Inner blockages are triggered by anxiety and sadness. This will make you feel stuck and helpless.

I had a woman and she was actually on my podcast, Journey of a Fearless Female. She was molested by her uncle. She's in her 60s. This happened when she was 13, 12, and we did a session and she had all these negative trapped emotions in her uterus. We released about fifteen of them from betrayal, abandonment, terror, anger, hatred, and guilt. That night, she had the most vivid dream of the people that were a part of that because it wasn't just the abuser, it was the people that when she tried to tell them, they said, “How dare you speak of your uncle that way. How dare you talk about him. He's a pillar of society.”

All these people back then were adults. Now that she's in her 60s, they've all passed. She said she had this dream where all of these people she felt betrayed her came and apologized to her.” She said, “Paola, I woke up sweating in a cold sweat and I've never felt so light in my life.” I've had another guy come to me. His wife actually sent him to me and said, “He grinds his teeth all night long. It drives me crazy. I can't sleep.” I'm like, “Let's see what we can find.”

We did three sessions. The first session, I didn't find much because he was guarded. In the second session, it turns out his father committed suicide. Suicide back then was like such a thing that you don't talk about, so he never spoke about his dad's death. He trapped a lot of negative emotions in his jaw from humiliation, regret, pain, and all these things. Once I released the negative emotions with magnets, he stopped grinding his teeth. She even texted me. She was like, “I've been waiting until 7:00 AM because I've been up since 4:00. I've been literally monitoring him. I cannot believe he stopped grinding. He doesn't grind his teeth anymore.”

I also do pets. You could do it with your pets. I've had one woman come to me and she said, “My dog keeps throwing up every single morning. I don't know what's wrong with him.” I was like, “All right, you have to have your dog near you or your hand near your dog.” She puts her dog near her and I'm doing a session on the dog. I don't know why, but I got the download where it said something with electrical. I said, “I don't know why, but I'm getting that there's some misalignment with toxicity and I'm getting it that it's electrical and has something to do with the water.”

I said, “It there water near an electrical outlet? I don't know why I'm saying this, but I'm saying this.” She turns the camera because I do all my calls on Zoom, and I like for the client to see the chart. She turns the camera and she's like, “His water bowl is next to an electrical outlet, and on the electrical outlet is a box.” I'm like, “What's the box?” She's like, “It detects carbon monoxide.” I said, “Just move his water out of the way and let me know what happens?” She texted me three days later, and she said, “It's been three days, and he has not thrown up at all.” 

Even myself, because when I first started being an emotion and body code practitioner, I was like, “This is farfetched. It's a little woo-woo.” It’s like The Secret, but my researcher, the scientific part of me is like, “I'm going to test this out.” I tested it out on myself. I tested it out on my husband. The first time we did sessions, I released fifteen negative emotions. He released 10 and I kid you not, Yanet, we did not argue for two months because there were no triggers.

Better than couples therapy, everyone.

There were no triggers because I released all these negative emotions that I've been holding to protect myself. Anytime he triggered me in any way, I would get upset. Same with him. Anytime I triggered him, he would get upset. When we released these negative emotions that no longer served us because they're no longer needed to protect us. We no longer fought. For two months, we didn't fight. I tell people, doing an emotion body code session is like going to the chiropractor. You need an adjustment and then you're good to go. 

However, like an onion, we have multiple years of these negative trapped emotions, these misalignments, these imbalances in your body that you need to come back for more sessions. I have had the most remarkable breakthroughs with my clients doing these sessions with them. I included them in my coaching packages, and I started taking clients on emotion and body coach sessions alone. They're not my coaching clients. Yeah, it's such an incredible healing modality. 

I have tried everything from EMDR to tapping, tuning forks, float tanks, and acupuncture. I've done psychedelics. I've done all of these different healing modalities because I'm a researcher. I want to test things out and know what works. If you're reading, your healing journey is personal and it is your healing journey. What works for me may not work for you. Floating tank gives me crazy anxiety, like all I'm thinking about is I'm going to drown and I'm going to be stuck in this pod forever. 

Some people find the most amazing breakthroughs in those floating tanks. If you are having these times in your life where you're having this dark night of the souls, where you're asking the existential questions of, “Who am I? Why am I here? What is my purpose?” especially after grief, after losing a loved one, after a betrayal, after divorce, after losing your job, we tend to have these existential questions because we feel lost in life. Life is a fricking journey. It is a wild roller coaster. It's not from point A to point B. 

We have these moments of anxiety and panic and fear, and we don't know what's going to happen tomorrow or the uncertainty of it all and we have these existential questions like, “What is my purpose? Why am I here?” When you do ask, when you are ready, the teacher will appear. When you ask the questions, the answers will come. It may not be in the way that you think, but you're going to get the answers. I looked at my journey and thought the answer came. I had multiple people show me the light. 

Life is a wild roller coaster. It is not a simple journey from point A to point B. It involves moments of anxiety, panic, and fear that lead you to ask existential questions.

Now, it's my job, and I love to show people the light to guide them back to who they were before they were programmed and before the ideologies. That's why I say in my bio, “I want to break the cycle of the ideologies,” because we have all these things that were not embedded in us through our caregivers but through their caregivers. We have generational trauma that continues to be downloaded to the next generation and the next generation. 

I love to be the generational curse breaker. I love the one that breaks the ideology. I want to put light where there is darkness. I want to help those who are lost and find the light again and remember who they are at their core, which is the source, the divine. We are a fragment of the source, the divine and the light. If we can remember who we are at our core, we can enhance that light and help others do the same.

I love that so much. I think that is a reminder that we are whole already, and we are worthy already. We need to unlearn the program that has led us to believe the opposite. I love this quote from Robin Sharma, who says, “We were born into perfection and seduced into average,” because of the program. It's so true. I also appreciate that you said, “You got to find your path. Ask for guidance.” I love that you experimented because I truly believe that clarity is a byproduct of experimentation and we never stop experimenting. 

For example, I love learning about the motion and body code because I hadn't heard of it before. My modalities, the ones that I resonated with, the ones that I got resolved because they were the ones that I also learned was Neuro-Linguistic Programming, hypnosis and meditation, which I know you're a meditation fan, too, and you do a lot of meditations. It's the same reason why the how remains flexible, the modality, and the technique. I love that you said you have to find what resonates with you and what works for you because that's part of the self-discovery and self-empowerment process. 

Finding your own truth, your own path. I've learned so much. I'm like, “I love this.” It's so interesting because there are so many similarities even with emotion and body code and what I do in Neuro-Linguistic Programming, which is working through the motions too in a different way. The emotions are the language of the subconscious mind and the body is the subconscious mind. I love it so much. I'm so happy that you are here sharing your powerful story and your wisdom with all of us. 

Thank you. 

Rapid-Fire Questions

At the end, I have rapid-fire questions, and then I'm going to ask you where can our audience connect with you or if they're interested in a session, like how can they find you? Rapid fire question first. Are you ready?

Sure.

What's your favorite book?

It used to be The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer, which I do still love. I recommend it to all my clients. I tell everybody it's a must-read. My new favorite book is called Dying to Be Me by Anita Moorjani.

You are not going to believe this. I downloaded that book into Audible because someone spoke about it and I downloaded it, and now we are talking about it.

I have to tell you this little sidetrack. After my dad passed away, because we grew up Catholic, it was the ideology that if you are a sinner, you're going to hell. My dad was an alcoholic. It tormented me every night to think that my dad was being tortured in hell. I went down the rabbit hole to learn what happens to people after they die. I read a lot of near-death experience books and a lot of YouTube videos. I still, to this day, listen to near-death experiences all the time. 

This book is the most beautiful experience. She dies and comes back and she talks about her experience, the most beautiful experience, and the way she depicts it. I love that book, and it gives me so much joy to tell people to read it because it breaks the ideology of what you were taught in church and religion and what they want to make you believe. I truly love that book. Download the book.

Universe, thank you for the signs. Who is your biggest role model? The first one that comes to mind.

My husband, I would have to say. He is my biggest role model. Seriously, he is such an inspiration. He stuttered from the ages of 5 to 18 and he didn't even know he was manifesting, but he would manifest to never stutter again and he doesn't stutter. He also used to ask God for an idea. He would say, “God, if you can give Thomas Edison an idea, then you can give me a great idea.” The idea was to start Kajabi. It's revolutionized his life and the people on the platform, and it has created an entire industry. He's so humble and so kind and so loving, and he's like the salt of the earth. I love it when people meet him, and they all love him. I'm thankful and honored to be his wife.

That is the sweetest thing ever. What's the most important piece of advice you would give to your younger self?

It’s crazy that you asked this question because me and my ask ourselves questions at night. He said, “If you could spend ten minutes with your younger self or your older self, who would it be?” I definitely picked my younger self because if I could go back and tell her how smart, beautiful, amazing, and resilient she is and that everything is going to be better than she could ever imagined, which is what my dad did for me, I think I would've saved myself years of pain.

I also think to myself I'm thankful for the pain and I'm thankful for the journey because honestly, I don't know if I wouldn't have gone through the darkest nights of my soul and all that pain and all that suffering and grief, I don't know if I would still be the same woman that I am now. I don't know if I would still be helping others with the same compassion and empathy that I have now because I am thankful for my journey. It refined me. It's like a knife sharpening a knife. I'm the woman that I am now because of what I experienced. 

There was a purpose to that pain. What does Paola stand for in one word?

Resilient.

Closing Words

Resilient is your superpower. My friend, I'm so excited you are here with us. If our audience wants to connect with you, maybe they want a session or connect with you as a coach, what's your information?

I'm on FearlessFemale.com. You could also find me at PaolaRosser.com. It goes to the same website. Go to the booking sheet. There's a fifteen-minute free emotion body code session. For anyone who's never tried it before, I would like to give someone their first session for fifteen minutes free. A 30-minute session is $140. I also have packages 3, 6, and 9 because sometimes we want to work on specific traumas or pains. It takes a little bit longer than doing one session. Also, for coaching, I have one-on-one packages, but I also have a cheap subscription group coaching program. 

It's called Fearless Power, and that's $99 a month. It's the cheapest that you'll ever find. I love that group because it's women who have been in my one-on-one sessions before, people who have taken my classes before, and women who want to be around other women with the same mentality. Can talk about vibration, frequency, love, and manifesting without feeling like they're a little woo-woo or too spiritual. I teach them a lot. I’m tapping into their intuitive gifts, asking God for signs, and looking for their guardian angels. I'm very much scientific, but also very much woo-woo because I think you can't have one without the other. We are mind, body, and spirit. 

The woo-woo is scientific. 

It's proving to be scientific now with quantum mechanics and everything. 

Thank you so much. Everyone, you need to connect with Paola right now. She is amazing. Thank you so much for being here, Paola.

Thank you.

Thank you everyone. Share with your friends and family. I'm sure this episode was super powerful to you. Thank you again for allowing us this space to share this beautiful journey. I'll see you next time.

Important Links

• Fearless Female Movement
• The Secret
• The Total Money Makeover
• The Emotion Code
• Journey of a Fearless Female
• The Untethered Soul
• Dying to Be Me
• PaolaRosser.com

About Paola Rosser

Meet Paola Rosser, the down-to-earth force behind the Fearless Female Movement. As the founder and CEO, she's driven by a mission to dismantle the chains of fear imposed by old ideologies and the subconscious mind. Paola employs a unique blend of coaching and subconscious healing that helps women overcome their past challenges and embrace their inner power. With Emotion & Body Code as her compass, Paola leads women on a healing journey enabling them to emerge as fearless architects of their destinies.

Her highly acclaimed podcast, Journey of a Fearless Female, has consistently dropped a new episode every Monday for the last 5 years and has over 70k downloads. The show serves as a platform to amplifying the voices of women sharing their inspiring stories in order to empower others in a collective celebration of resilience and courage.

Paola’s energetic presence is magnetic and radiates across all platforms. With a gentle touch, she has created a nurturing a community where women support one another along their journeys towards fearlessness and self-discovery.