Kelsey Ch.: How To Create A Strong Money Mindset?

 Because of their endless pursuit to grow their wealth, many find themselves in the most miserable situations. If you are sacrificing your goals and personal life just to earn cash, then your money mindset is built the wrong way. Discussing how to gain clarity with your finances with Yanet Borrego is Kelsey Ch., a mindset and money coach. Kelsey explains how to achieve complete financial freedom without being attached to money and becoming out of touch with reality. She also talks about going beyond limiting beliefs and stereotypes that hinder you from gaining the wealth you truly deserve.

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Kelsey Ch.: How To Create A Strong Money Mindset?

I'm so excited because I'm bringing you a very special and inspiring guest, Kelsey Ch. She is a mindset and money coach. She helps ambitious introverts chase after financial freedom without losing joy. Kelsey, thank you so much for joining us.

I'm so happy to be here. Thank you for inviting me.

Kelsey, tell us a little bit about yourself. What is your background? Where do you come from? Where are you raised? What is your career background?

I was born and raised in Singapore. I'm living in the States. I'm a mindset and money coach primarily because of my background. Growing up, my family has always been struggling with money. When I was young, I knew that I wanted to get out of this struggle because I saw my parents quarreling over money all the time. Every single time, whenever I think about money, I think about quarrels and miserable conversations. I knew it back then. When I was young, I was like, "I'm going to be rich so that I can stop quarreling." That does not happen because, over time, I learned that our happiness is not because of how much money we have.

Growing up, I thought, "Once I have the money, I will become happy. All these quarrels would stop." It was then I realized that our happiness has got to do with our mindset. I thought at one time, "Once I have more money, I will stop quarreling. I would become happier." It doesn't happen in that case. I have many years of Buddhist practice. I have been meditating for many years since young. I took it very seriously. When I got more money, I realized that I was still not happy. That is how I thought of my spiritual journey.

It is all to discover more about myself and happiness. That is where I also got into understanding like, "What exactly is happiness? How can you have a state of peace and calm every single day?" You will go after the big goals and dreams that you have. That is why my mission is to help people chase after financial freedom without losing joy because, in my pursuit of chasing after it, I realized a lot of things. I made myself miserable in the process of chasing it. I realized that there's a way for you not to be that case. That is where I'm going and my mission.

There are so many things about what you said that I'm like, "We need to unpack a little bit of this because I'm so excited." I'm sure I'm going to learn so much from you. I love that you mentioned that a big inspiration of yours was your parents because I'm an immigrant too. I feel like growing up in an environment where money was scarce and you will see my mom's struggle. It was one of my biggest motivators also to want to pursue my passion and get rich while doing the things I enjoy.

That was beautiful that you shared that. The other thing that you touched on that I'm passionate about, too, is this mentality of having and then being. Whenever I have money, I will be happy instead of vice versa, which is the right thing. Be happy and then you will attract the money a lot of times. Would you agree with that?

When you are not clear where you want to go, it's easy to give up. That's not your mission if you don't want to devote your life, time, and energy to it.

 

Yes, I agree. It is about appreciating what you have and desiring more. You can do the same actions but the mindset that you have affects the way you do certain things. Let's say you fundamentally know that you value having time with your family. That is your fundamental and what truly makes you happy. When you want to go for a career path over time or things like that, you would also put that into consideration apart from going after something. In the end, in the pursuit, then you realize that is not what makes you happy.

That was my case in learning about that. That was my story. My thing is learning that you can get to the place of happiness when you have that. It starts from being able to appreciate what you have. It is having that gratitude and then seeing the opportunities that you have. Asking yourself like, "Why do you exactly want that desire? Why do you want more money?" Understanding that relationship as well is more important.

I love that because I identify with your story too. Even doing the educational system, we are being focused on what we want to have after we graduate. I was like, "I'm going to study Chemical Engineering, have a six-year job and then be happy. My life will be done after that." I got there and was like, "Is this it?" The missing part was happiness, joy, and fulfillment because no one ever asked me, "Who do you want to be?" It's all about achieving.

It is a standard. It is a set of checkboxes you had to tick off at each milestone. You measure yourself against those societal standards of what we should be and have by the age of whatever.

We have a lot in common. Something that we have in common is that you are also building your coaching practice while working on corporate. I find that so inspiring because I was there too. A lot of the readers in this show are people who are trying to gain clarity on what their passion is. They are trying to align their passion to their career or do it simultaneously. All of their options are viable. How did you gain the clarity that you wanted to enter into this mindset coaching space?

A part of me is truly learning how to put myself in a coaching container from the start, to begin with. In 2020, there was COVID. With the lockdown, I appreciated a lot of that because it gave me a lot of time. You could go nowhere except to be with yourself. Somehow or another, I can't remember exactly which platform but I chanced upon an ad and then got drawn into it. What I got out of it was that I realized that there was a part of me that I had rejected all this while and I have hated. I hated the very sensitive, caring, empathetic, and maturing side of me because I don't think that those qualities are good enough to be successful.

Typically, people who are successful look like they are loud, extroverted, or opinionated. It is all these big qualities. I'm this Asian girl who is caring, nurturing, and solving. All these qualities don't make sense. I hated that part of me for so long. Being in a coaching container and trying to find myself made me realize that there was a part of me that I rejected all this while, while you are trying to fit into the mold of what society thinks successful people should be.

It took quite a while to unpack and accept that is a part of myself that I should be proud of and not reject it and to find a purpose for it. It is ironic that in a coaching container, I found myself and also have the qualities of what it takes to be a coach. That was how I decided that this was what I wanted to do. It took a lot of unpacking to accept those qualities are mine and I can use them to be successful as well. I can embody them and be a version of success for others who are the same as me, who think that success is only for people who are big, loud, and extroverted.

I love that because there are many parts of us that sometimes we don't embrace as a whole. We bring one persona to work, home and business. It's so inspiring of you that you were like, "I'm just one. I'm going to embrace all the parts and use my strengths." Kudos to you. That's awesome.

That's how I got to do what I'm doing.

Kelsey, that is awesome that you are pursuing your business and passion on the side and then doing your full-time corporate job. How do you manage everything at the same time? If you have to give a piece of advice to our readers who are interested in doing that potentially, what will you tell them?

First and foremost, it is to get clear on what you want to do. I'm fortunate enough that through my coach, I realized that I want to be a coach. That transition, I could model after someone and see the transformation or the potential career path. Getting clear on where you want to go for the next ten years is very important because the first step of getting clear can take a while. For me, it took a year or so to get clear on where I wanted to go. There is so much unpacking to do because it is your belief. Who you are is your identity. To shake off your identity and pursue something new is super scary.

To get clear sounds easy like, "Get clear," it is a whole process to know what you want. Here is the thing. A lot of us don't know exactly what we want because the idea of what we want is also tangled with a lot of societal standards of what success is. You adopt other people's beliefs. In the meantime, it is very hard for us to truly know what you want. The process can look messy and difficult but it is rewarding because you will know that at the end of the day.

Having more clarity on a path does not mean that you have to stick to it because we grow and change all the time. Knowing that this is where you want to go, at least for the next 5 or 10 years, you can set up your life that is where you want to go and have the courage to pursue it. The first step is to get clear so then you are there to put in the commitment. Here is the thing. A lot of people, when they are not clear and going in to build a business or start a hobby or passion for the sake of money or something else, will not last.

When you are not clear on where you want to go, it is very easy for you to give up because that is not your mission and something that you truly want to devote your life, time, and energy to. In the journey, you are going to fail a lot of times. What happened was I didn't learn about social media marketing. I joined those courses together with a bunch of peers and then we formed small accountability groups. In those groups, all of them dropped off a couple of months into the program. I was like, "Where are they continuing?"

A big part of it is the fact that maybe they are not exactly clear on where they want to go and have not done the unpacking of where they want in the next 5 or 10 years to be. For me, I was clear like, "No matter what is going to happen, I'm devoting my time to building this." Having that clarity will allow you to find discipline and motivation from within. It is not even hard because that is where I want to devote my time and money in ten years too. It is not hard for me.

At the end of the day, a part of you knows that once you are at a certain financial level, even more money will not make you happy.

 

I love that piece so much. I love that you had a coach and you were inspired. I feel that the best coaches have coaches too. It is funny because I was meeting a coach. He is my coach. I meet with him every now and then. He was reminding me, "Yanet, to achieve different results and gain even further clarity on your business, you have got to break that habit of being your old self." You are stripping down those layers of those societal norms or beliefs that you used to have about yourself because that is the only way that you can have breakthrough results. It is doing things that you have never done before, experimenting and taking action to continue gaining that clarity.

You might take one step and then learn that maybe that is not it but you have got to move somewhere with a direction in mind. I love that so much. Thank you so much for adding that. Let's talk money mindset because that is your expertise. What would you say are the major limiting beliefs that people experience when they are prioritizing and investing in themselves, even to gain clarity like you were telling us before?

Whenever we buy something, we always want to get something in return. Fundamentally, that is the equation. When we buy something, we want something of a greater return than a monetary investment. That applies to everyone. One of the main things that people don't invest in themselves is that they don't think about the value they can get from coaching or investing in personal development seminars or things like that. It's worth the money.

We have a definition of what money is. Before I came to whatever I was doing, money was everything to me. I would save and invest a lot of money. I would never think about having the money to invest in myself, get coached, or even put myself in this whole coaching world. It is the fact that they don't think that coaching is valuable and transformative enough for them. I can tell you and the reader that it truly is. That is how you know.

If you want to try out coaching even, you feel like your life is comfortable. That was how I was feeling. I have a roof over my head. I don't care about food. I have a good relationship and job. I have everything that I need, yet at the same time, I felt something was missing. I felt like there was no spark and joy. I hated myself for it because I was like, "Why can't I be grateful, even though I have everything that people wanted?" My friends would probably be thinking I'm so ungrateful.

That is also what I was thinking like, "Why am I not grateful at all?" I kept questioning myself like, "Why am I not grateful for everything that I have?" That was when I chanced upon that coaching because I was trying to find like, "Why am I not grateful?" I was lost. I was googling all these questions on the internet and they showed me those ads. The thing is that fulfillment is greater than the money that I'm willing to part. It is because I was at a point where I didn't have to worry about the basics.

This is like Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. When you have everything from physical belongings to relationships, it is all these human needs satisfied. You are down at the personal aspiration part where you are trying to find who you are, what you want to do, and what your mission is in this world. When you think about investing in coaching, it is a journey for everyone. If you are at a point where you know that you have everything you need, then you are uncomfortable for some reason and feel guilty about it. That was how I felt. I felt guilty about having everything and still feeling unsatisfied.

There is something deeper in you that you want to do and pursue but you have been very fearful of your dreams. You should take this opportunity to find out why you are fearful to discover more about yourself because there is a part of you that you have been hiding away from for a long period of time. That was how I found and then realized the caring part of me. I ignored and neglected it all this while.

Whenever I started in this journey of gaining clarity, one of the best decisions I made was investing in a Tony Robbins event. Have you ever been to Tony Robbins? Do you know who he is?

Yes, I would listen to him.

One of the reasons is I was doing something that in the past I had not done. I was stretching across my boundaries to be in the community that I desire to be also. I was trying to get people to go and people were like, "No, thank you. That is not something I want to invest my time in." I was like, "I'm going to go by myself and make it happen. I don't care."

I went by myself and met so many people. I gained so much clarity with Tony Robbins' teachings. That was the start of me investing in my personal development. Even now that I'm a coach, I invest in mentorship, courses, and attending events every single year. What are those limiting beliefs that prevent people from investing in getting to know themselves better in whatever vehicle, if it is an event, coach, or mentor?

It is an equation of money versus what you can get out of it but they don't think that they can get more out of it. Let's say you are working with a coach or an investment program. They don't think that they can get the value that the coach promised. When they don't think they can get the value, it is because of two things. They don't trust the program, coach, whatever medium that is or themselves. It is those two things. They don't trust and have the belief in themselves that this program can help them get to where they want to be.

They can do it themselves. I feel a lot of people don't believe in their ability to transform, change and get results. It is too much work.

There are two kinds of people. Number one is those high achievers. They think that they can figure this out by themselves. I fell into that category before. I had a high ego. I was like, "I can figure this thing out." I was with that group. The second group of people is people who have never put themselves in a place where they imagine who they can be. They don't think much about what the future is. They are content with where they are. A lot of times, they are fearful of dreaming. A lot of people don't even dream about their future. It's known that most people quit their New Year's resolution in January. It is the first month of the year and then they quit on their New Year's resolution.

When they do this over time, they stop dreaming because they know that they cannot stick to their small goals. How can they stick to something big? A lot of people don't dream. When they don't dream, they don't think that they can get the results. They don't think that they can be a different person or a different reality can happen for them. That is why they don't invest. The first thing is for this group of people to start dreaming. It's possible for you to have the reality that you truly desire. For the second group of people, those high achievers would think that they can figure this out. You can. It can be faster.

People who are starting a business for the sake of money will lose their motivation when things get tough. Having an attachment to their money is not a long-term solution.

 

I fall in that category too. I'm like, "I can do it by myself." It is something that I'm learning in this journey. I'm going to start asking for help. That is something that I have been doing more often. I love that you mentioned that.

I have been groomed to be super hyper-independent. It was only through coaching that I realized I could ask for help. It doesn't mean that you are weak or bad. You need to think of it as, when you ask for help, you get to somewhere faster. You can then leverage your gifts even more, utilize your strengths, focus on what you have, and then get help for things that you are not very good at.

We have many blind spots too. I'm helping people that are trained to recognize those patterns and limiting beliefs. I was telling you I met with this coach and he told me something. Consciously, I know what I have forgotten at the moment. Having that external person that knows to help and guide you is such a special leap.

A lot of the readers are seeking to align their career or side hustle. They want to do more of their passion. Whatever their passion is as they are gaining clarity, what is the mindset needed to take this bold decision? What is the money mindset needed? I love that you are going through it too. You can even talk to us about your experience.

It is about believing that you can make money with your passion. It all starts with the fact that you believe that you can make money with your passion. With that, you have to find evidence to support your belief and to consciously put yourself in those containers or put yourself in a room where all these people have these crazy results. Here is the thing. In society, we have stereotypes. You always hear the stereotype of struggling artists. It is all like, "Art doesn't make money. Only the top 1% of the people can make money." A lot of people then lose hope or give up hope on those.

Especially for Asian families, we know that there are only a few career paths for us. There are only lawyers and doctors. There are only a few of those careers for us because those are the typical career that makes money. First and foremost, it is to believe you can make money and then continuously find evidence to support it. At the end of the day, there is a part of you that knows that once you are at a certain financial level, even more money is not going to make you happy or joyful.

The funny part about being happy and joyful is when you are constantly being challenged to do something. To know that there is a risk of failure, you want to try. What makes someone alive is to know that there is a risk of failure. No matter what, you are going to dedicate and try. That is the essence of happiness. It is not being stable.

I love what you said about dreaming and believing in yourself. I recorded an episode on believing in yourself because I realized that is the enabler for everything else. When you believe in yourself, things will come. Who are the role models? I'm curious. In this space, I know Sara Blakely from Spanx. Did you listen to the interview with Tony Robbins on her?

No.

Who else is a role model for you? After they finish reading this episode, they can check them out and find evidence that they can make it happen.

For me, I want to pursue life coaching. I follow Stacey Boehman. She is a life coach. Through life coaching, she transformed her entire life from selling in Walmart to making millions of dollars. She is one of the few exceptions and Brooke Castillo. For me to even see that life coaching is a profession that can make money, it has never come to my awareness. When I was younger, I did those MBTI personality tests and realized that I'm an INFJ. The recommended career path for me was a counselor. When I was younger, I looked at that career path and I was like, "I'm never going to be a counselor because counselors don't make money." I knew I wanted to make money so I despised that a lot.

For me to come full circle to be a life coach is similar to counseling. There are some nuances but it is the same as I'm working with people in their emotions. I'm telling someone, "I'm full circle back to my recommended path by my personality type." It is funny for me to come full circle on that. For me to want to pursue this path is when I see that it is possible for other people. If it is possible for them, why can't it be for me? I can do something similar.

As we know, money is energy. You have to learn how to tap into that and believe in yourself. I love the role models because they are up there. They are my North Star vision of what is possible. I also think having a direct community of some sort around you. I went through COVID and then I was not feeling well. I was feeling not motivated. I went to this event full of women entrepreneurs and founders. I left that room feeling that I could do anything. Your circle has so much influence on you to what you say so.

They say that your network is your net worth. It means that. Where you put yourself in a room, you are the average of the five. Intentionally choosing to put yourself in a room where there are successful people will make you successful as well because you are going to learn a lot of learnings from them subconsciously. You are going to pick it up from them.

Whenever you have a business and you are learning the entrepreneurial way, it is easy to get attached to the outcome of having certain money. What do you use to overcome that based on your experience? What have you come across that if people are struggling with being attached to getting certain money? I feel that sometimes that prevents us from getting the money. It is resistance.

If you are a coach or service provider, the person can feel that you are not serving them that you just want their money. That's the worst kind of energy you can give off. It's not as difficult for me, probably because I'm very clear on why I'm in this. I want to be a coach because I want to help people. Every single time during a consultation, I'm here to serve them. I have a price. I tell them the price. If they don't think the price is worth it for them, then I will let it go because we are not a good fit and I don't want to force them into a coaching relationship.

You are a great steward of money. You are here to move money around in the whole economy. Do not live or die by money.

 

For a lot of other service providers, being attached to money, you have to know that money is a form of exchange of goods and services. Both parties need to agree to the exchange. Typically, the buyer wants to see a greater value from the amount of money that he is parting with. As a business owner, constantly reminding yourself why you are starting a business is very important like, "Why are you even doing this?"

For a lot of service entrepreneurs, it is remembering that they said this to all. Helping the client is very helpful. People who are starting a business for the sake of money will find themselves losing their motivation when things get tough. Having an attachment to their money will not be a long-term solution for it because they are going to lose motivation. Especially at the start, it is going to be difficult.

I will mention Tony Robbins but I'm going to mention Master Stephen Co. Many people talk about giving. When it comes to money, so many people talk about the energy of being able to give from the heart and then you create that space for receiving. I love it because it is very related to what you were talking about opening up your heart and knowing that you are here to help people. When you start having that mindset of helping and giving it as a service because it is a service, it is like, "This is for you. This is for me to help." I feel doors start opening up and you start manifesting more of that.

Money is essentially a neutral object. Typically, all of us here in this world are caretakers of the money temporarily because after we die, we are not going to have any. We are stewards of money. We accumulate money because of the value that we provide to the world and other people value. Let's say I have a skill. I want to build my skills as a coach. When other people think that coaching is valuable for them, they will pay me money for it and that is how I build my wealth. I build my wealth because of the skills that I have.

I'm a steward of money. When I have the money, I can then allocate it to wherever I want. I'm also a consumer of this whole economy. I can choose to support small businesses in my neighborhood or I can support the more ethical fashion brands instead of fast fashion. I can allocate this money to somewhere else and I can spend the money. It goes on one big cycle. We are here to be stewards of money to move it around wherever we want to. Money is simply a reflection of how much value we give to the world.

I'm super big on practices and anything that can get our readers to implement what they have learned during this episode. What kind of practices would you recommend our readers in regards to their money mindset on building those empowering beliefs about money?

Number one is to have this belief, "I can always create more. I can create it with my skills and the ability that I have and the world is going to pay for it." All you need to focus on is building whatever skill that you want to develop like, "I can always create more." When you focus on that, you are not stuck in scarcity. The second thing is to remember that you are a great steward of money and not a slave to it. You are here to move money around in the whole economy. Do not live or die by money. You won't live or die by money.

A practical step for you to implement your relationship with money is, once you develop this belief, you have to find small little evidence. How can you prove to yourself that you are here to allocate money? Let's say you have the amount of money. You want to prove that you are a great allocator of money. First of all, you have to first manage your finances. You have to first be clear on how much you have and where you want to spend. You've got to spend intentionally. It's all about intentional spending. That will give you proof that you can be a steward of money and can move money around responsibly.

First and foremost, if you decide to adopt those two beliefs and use those, then you can always create more money. Go around your day to find that little evidence to support that, "How can I create more money?" We are in a great economy. You can easily create more money whenever you want. You can go and be an Uber driver. It's so easy. If you build everything, there are those opportunities for you.

The second thing is to do journaling. Reflect on what exactly money means to you. It has the definition of like, "What do you want out of this life? What is money to you? What does happiness look like?" Having answers to these three questions would help you to be more grounded in how you want to live your life. The third thing is to surround yourself with like-minded people. The kind of energy that you feel with a group of people who have similar dreams as you is going to be very different.

If you do not have a chance to attend those events in this group, you can start off by putting podcasts in your ears all day long. We are so fortunate to have all these resources. Go join all this free stuff until you have the ability to save up for something and you want to experience it for yourself for the first time because there are so many resources out there. All you need to do is to find it.

I love all the steps that you gave us. I hope our readers implement all of them. They take an assessment in terms of what their beliefs are around money and decide to get those empowering ones. You replace the limiting ones with empowering ones and keep developing that habit over and over. Kelsey, thank you so much. I have learned so much. I appreciate your time. Thank you for all your knowledge. There was a lot of great information and insights. Where can they find you?

I'm on Instagram. 

I hope you guys follow and connect with Kelsey. I will see you next time.

Important links

• Dare To Dream: Believe In Yourself And Win Success – Previous Episode
• Spanx
• Start Small, Think Big, Scale Quickly – Tony Robbins Interview with Sara Blakely
• Stacey Boehman
• Brooke Castillo
• https://www.YBCoaching.com/Clarity
• https://www.YBCoaching.com/Wellness5MinsRoutine
• https://www.Facebook.com/YanetBCoaching
• https://www.Instagram.com/ YanetBCoaching /
• https://www.LinkedIn.com/company/yanet-borrego-coaching/?viewAsMember=true
• https://www.YouTube.com/channel/UCqxL829o0Vk-QdY12F-GgMw

About Kelsey Ch.

Kelsey is a mindset & money coach. She helps ambitious introverts CHASE after financial freedom without losing joy.