Letting Go Of Resentment Through Forgiveness

We may have someone who needs to be forgiven; sometimes, that can be ourselves. Admittedly, letting go of resentment can be difficult, but it is nevertheless a process we must go through. In this inspiring episode, Yanet Borrego talks about resentment and forgiveness. She shares the danger that comes with allowing resentment to build up over time and why the power of forgiveness holds the path to healing. Learn to let go today and discover how this simple act can free you in a more positive and loving way.

Free Resources:

Need Clarity?

Schedule a FREE 30 mins clarity call with me by following this.
Link: https://calendly.com/yanetbcoaching/clarity-call

3 Simple Questions to boost your clarity and make authentic decisions that lead to fulfilling outcomes. You also have a journaling space for each question to capture your insights.

Start your day without direction? Start your morning on purpose with this easy-to-implement 5 mins routine.

Ho'oponopono Meditation: 7-Minute Ho'oponopono Forgiveness process with Dr. Matt James - YouTube

Let's Connect!

FACEBOOK

INSTAGRAM

LINKEDIN

YOUTUBE

---

Watch the episode here

Listen to the podcast here

Letting Go Of Resentment Through Forgiveness

One thing every successful individual leader and entrepreneur have in common is a consistent morning routine. Having a simple, easy-to-implement routine enables you to start your day with a sense of purpose, accomplishment, clarity, and direction. For this reason, I have prepared for you a free guide with an easy-to-follow Five-Minute Morning Routine and a tracking template where you can document your progress day by day. I've been receiving messages from some of you already telling me how this habit has transformed your days for the better. Download this Five-Minute Morning Routine so you can start your day on purpose.

---

I am very excited because we are going to discuss a topic that is very meaningful, powerful, and something that I practice every single day, to be honest with you. The topic for this episode is about letting go of resentment through the process of forgiveness. We all have had experiences from the past where someone did something that hurt us, or maybe someone did something that disappointed us. We started to build resentment towards that person, and then we started projecting that resentment and fierce the words present and future situations. It happens to all of us.

Let me give you good news. There are processes to let go of resentment towards that person and even resentment towards ourselves. Sometimes the person that we need to forgive is us. It’s the one standing there in front of the mirror. When we talk about resentment and even the process of forgiveness, even if it's related to another person, it is important that we understand that forgiveness doesn't have to do anything with that person. That person doesn't even know that we are going through a forgiveness process with them.

The process has to do with all of us because who is a person who is being harmed by that resentment, anger, and sadness? That is all of us. That is inside of us that is happening. That intensity that sometimes we feel in the chest, in the head, or somewhere else, our body feels that, but we are not even aware. As we're going through this episode, I want you to think of someone that you're still holding a grudge against that person, or maybe that someone is you, something you did or said.

That's why I say that I think about forgiveness every single day because it doesn't have to be a big thing in order for us to think about letting go of that resentment. Actually, the most dangerous resentment is the one that is not big. It is the one that we feel every single day. For example, we are driving our car on the road and someone calls us over. We feel this instant resentment or intensity against this person. We think it's mobile. Here's the thing. Small resentment by small resentment keeps building up, and it ends up being big, and we don't even realize it because it's subconscious.

We go through our day and keep doing whatever we're doing, but inside of us, it keeps building up over and over. That's why I say that I forgive and I do this forgiveness process that I'm going to share with all of you all the time. Even after I finished a coaching session with my one-on-one coaching clients, it is not that they did something to me. It's not that they said something that triggered me, but I do forgiveness to them as a way to disconnect from what we did. Forgiveness and the process that I'm going to share with you is also another way to completely let go of what happened and reset, restart, and keep going with your day in a lighter way. That is what forgiveness is about.

Forgiveness is a process and a practice that can make you more empowered.

It’s resentment against others and ourselves. Sometimes it's not even our resentment but just disconnecting. Healing is an energetic cleanse. That's how I see it. If I observe any tension with myself or with someone and how I usually feel it is in my chest. Whenever something worries me or someone said something that I was like, “Why is this person saying that?” or anything similar, I feel it in my chest. I feel the intensity of racing.

I want you to ask yourself right now, whenever you feel resentment, intensity, or you feel disappointment at someone, your body feels it. Where do you feel it? For every person, it is different. I feel it in my chest, but I've had clients that feel it in their head, and someone may feel it somewhere else in their stomach. Where is that place for you? I want you to become familiar with it because whenever that intensity comes up, you're going to start noticing your body, how it intense that is and the areas where you feel that resentment and that disappointment.

When you feel it and you notice it, then you're aware. That's powerful because now you can do something about it. That is the forgiveness process that I'm going to share with you. I follow a specific forgiveness meditation that I'm going to share. I truly recommend that you follow it. It's a Seven Minutes Meditation, but even before we jump into meditation, let me talk about the benefits of forgiveness.

The number one benefit is that you're letting go of that resentment and intensity that is damaging your body and your mind. In a way, it's allowing you to be misaligned with your authentic self because your authentic self and your genuine self are full of love. Whenever we have that resentment, we feel anger and sadness sometimes. That is occupying the place that love should occupy in your heart.

By letting it go, you start seeing everything around you in a lighter, clear, more positive, and loving way. That's the number one benefit. The second benefit, I would say, is it even understands a little bit deeper the motive of people and even yourself. I truly believe that everyone is doing the best they can with the resources they have.

Whenever someone does say something wrong to you, many times they didn't even know they did it. It was totally subconscious to them. Sometimes they don't even know that it's a boundary or a trigger for you. The same goes with us. How many times haven't we violated someone else's boundaries without knowing?

Here's the thing. People, including us, are not great at giving feedback. We are not great at communicating boundaries. The less we communicate, the more we allow ourselves to build resentment with other people and with us because if someone violates your boundary and you don't communicate it, that person may do it over and over without knowing it. People are doing the best they can with the resources they have.

Many times, they have a lot of the resentment we need to let go of. Based on my experience on my coaching business, even my digital course, is with our parents. For me, my mom is someone that I’ve been with forever. Everything challenge we have gone through in life, like leaving Cuba, asking for political asylum, getting into the United States by ourselves, all of these things we have faced together.

When I was in college, I spent five years and a half away from her. Now, she lives with my husband and me because I want to make sure I give back. Being so close to her and seeing her every day, sometimes there are triggers from my childhood or something else. We’ve got to understand our parents. They’re like us. They have done the best they could with the resources they had available at that moment.

There were times when I held resentment because whenever we moved to Puerto Rico, I literally had to make the decisions. For every decision that I made, I didn't have much guidance because my mom didn't know better. My mom was focused on survival and on us getting money so we could eat. How can I resent her? She was focusing on what was the priority at the moment. As a child, I didn't know better. I was like, “Why I'm not receiving the guidance?” I never told her really, but I thought that when I saw their parents guiding their kids to make certain decisions. I needed to learn and do the homework by myself, but that made me stronger. That made me more accountable and responsible because I needed to figure it out by myself.

When you forgive, you're taking responsibility for everything that is happening in your life.

I remember sometimes going back home and saying, “Mom, I got an A in this exam.” She was like, “Is that good?” Because she didn't know better, but she was doing the best she could with the resources she had. Thanks to her, I am where I am now. I love that Tony Robbins says, “If we blame our parents for the bad things, we’ve got to blame our parents for the amazing things too.” Having that understanding that people are doing the best they can with the resources they have, including ourselves, it allows you to feel more compassion towards everyone else, more empathy, forgiveness, and acceptance.

Most of the time, I would say people are not doing things because they want to do something bad to you because they want to do you wrong. They're doing the best they can with the resources they have. I remember being in a training. I was getting certified a few years ago to be an NLP coach. Officially, I had been practicing NLP for a couple of years. This time, I was getting certified to coach on NLP.

Part of the exercises we did was something related to my mom. The person who was coaching me and told me, “You're going to have homework. I want you, during the break, to call and tell your mom, ‘Mom, this is how I've failed. I know there have been situations where I haven't responded in the best way, and I want you to please forgive me.’” To me, that was like, “What? Am I going to do that? Am I going to ask for that way?” I was committed to taking action and I was asking myself, “How can I ask my clients to do something that I'm not willing to do myself?” and I did it. That moment when I actually asked her to forgive me, which by the way, she was surprised. She was like, “I understand you're always busy and doing the best.” She's so nice. When I did that, that was such a healing moment for me, even for our relationship.

From there, our relationship got even better. Even the confidence I have in myself to admit when sometimes I don't respond in the best way. Even to my husband and my mom, “I messed up. Please forgive me,” saying that is such a healing practice. You got to try it. I know it's not easy. You're going to be like, “What? No.” The ego is going to get in the way, but you know better. You're aware that the resentment you feel towards yourself and others is not doing any better for you. You’ve got to pass through that wall and ask for forgiveness.

The practice and meditation that I follow is based on the native, ancient Hawaiian way of being. It’s something that I trained. I spend many hours on Huna. Huna is a native, ancient Hawaiian philosophy that I studied. Every other year, for the most part in average, I go to Hawaii in order to go to another level of this native, ancient Hawaiian way of being. Dr. Matt James, that’s his lineage, and he takes such good care of teaching us his practice. It's a lot of fun. These trainings are a lot of learning, practicing, and becoming aligned with yourself even more.

One of the most powerful meditations of learning this training is the practice of forgiveness. The one that we practice is called Ho’oponopono. Let me tell you. There are different versions of Ho’oponopono. There is one that most people have heard of, but I practice one that not a lot of people have heard of. That's the one that I enjoyed the most. Let me explain you first what Ho’oponopono means because it's a beautiful meaning, and it goes in line with the practice.

(Ho'oponopono Meditation: 7-Minute Ho'oponopono Forgiveness process with Dr. Matt James - YouTube)

Pono in Hawaiian means to make it right. In Ho’oponopono, pono is repeated twice in this word because it means to make it right twice. In the meditation that I practice, you ask for forgiveness and you also give forgiveness. In the meditation, you say, “I forgive you. Please forgive me too.” Forgiveness goes in both ways because as I've mentioned before, we don't know when we have crossed people’s boundaries. We don't even know about it, and they never told us, so we continue.

I love this meditation because it is to make it right to forgive going both ways. You tell the person or the group of people in this stage because there is a stage that you're going to visualize. There are a lot of things that happen, but the main thing is you imagine a stage, and then you bring onto a stage the people that you want to forgive. You then flow from your body this love healing energy to the people on the stage. You let them completely be filled with this love healing energy. You then look at them in the eyes and say, “I forgive you. Please forgive me too.” You then give and receive this beautiful gift of forgiveness.

There is a time in the meditation where you catch the energetic cords that connect you with these people that you're forgiving. That's how the meditation process concludes. There are other practices of Ho’oponopono. There is one practice where you say, “Please forgive me, I'm sorry, thank you, I love you,” or something like that. It goes in different sequences, but you can do it in any order. The one I practice is the one that I described, but there are different ways to forgive.

As I always tell my clients, find the one that works with you. Practice different ones. Allow some time to practice. Practice one now and then tomorrow. At least dedicate 30 days to practice the same technique. If you don't connect with it, then switch to another one. At least dedicate that timeframe where you are consistent. It is so powerful because whenever you go through your day and maybe you had a difficult conversation with someone, or you had a challenging conversation with your mother or your husband, and you feel that intensity, it is important that you go through this forgiveness process and you let go of the intensity.

It's not until you're mentally and emotionally flat that you can have productive and fruitful conversations with the people that you need to forgive, including yourself. I hope this episode was so helpful. Forgiveness is a process and a practice that has completely made me a more empowered person. When you forgive, you're taking responsibility for everything that is happening in your life. You're not pointing at your person anymore. You actually recognize that that feeling has been triggered within yourself. You're taking the responsibility to do something about it, which is to forgive. Who has benefited from forgiving is yourself.

I want you to take the Seven Minutes Meditation. Give it a try, or maybe practice the other one that I mentioned. Choose one and at least practice it for 30 days. You can do it at night or in the morning, but think about every person that you interacted with and say, “I forgive you. Please forgive me too.” Go through the process.

You don't have to wait until someone does something wrong to you or someone hurts you or triggers you. You can even practice it every day as a way to disconnect from everything that happened throughout the day as a way to release and cleanse energetically. You can continue moving forward in a more aligned way. I hope this episode was helpful. Please share with your family and friends. Let's continue spreading this loving, accepting, and forgiving energy. Thank you so much for tuning in. I'll see you next time. As always, see you soon.

Important Links

• https://Calendly.com/YanetBCoaching/Clarity-Call
• https://www.YBCoaching.com/Clarity
• https://www.YBCoaching.com/Wellness5minsRoutine
• https://www.Facebook.com/YanetBCoaching
• https://www.Instagram.com/YanetBCoaching
• https://www.LinkedIn.com/company/Yanet-Borrego-Coaching/?viewAsMember=true
• https://www.YouTube.com/channel/UCqxL829o0Vk-QdY12F-GgMw