The Art Of Fulfillment: Mastering Your Internal State
Feb 09, 2022
The art of fulfillment is the most important thing you should practice. You can be a billionaire but if you've not mastered yourself internally, you'll feel empty. Learn how to have clarity, growth, and the ability to give. Join Yanet Borrego as shares with you the secrets to the art of fulfillment.
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The Art Of Fulfillment: Mastering Your Internal State
I still remember several years ago when I was given my first personal development book. My uncle, who I've mentioned before in this show several times, gave it to me when my mom and I went back to Cuba to see our family after twelve years of being separated from them. It was such an important time in my life because that was a time before starting my full-time career and at that time, I remember I was still discovering myself. I would dare say that was the time when I started to discover what I wanted to do in my career and my life.
The first book I got for personal development was a book by Tony Robbins, Awaken the Giant Within. I would strongly recommend that. That book completely changed my perspective in life and for the first time, I felt a fire in me that none of my chemical engineering textbooks had given me. For a moment, I felt in alignment. I truly felt fulfilled and I wanted more of that.
This was the same time when I had started my full-time career in the oil and gas industry. We went to Cuba because I knew after starting my career, I would have a limited time of vacation, so we wanted to go beforehand to spend several weeks with my grandmother, uncle, and dad, and we had a blast.
When I started my career, which was everything I had worked for, I remember getting there to that point after five years and a half of my Chemical Engineering degree and five internships in the oil and gas industry a high GPA and lots of leadership experiences. I remember getting there and thinking, “I have been following all the instructions of how to have a successful career and successful life and now, I have it all.”
When I got there and I had it all, I started to ask myself, “What's next for me? What is it all about now that I have all these things that I've always dreamed of? Who is the person that I want to be? What do I want to do?” I remember not feeling fulfilled. I remember at that time feeling the sense of being stuck and overwhelmed because I didn't know what the way was going to look like.
Achievement is a science. Fulfillment is an art.
I remember getting started and obsessing over this concept of fulfillment and asking myself, “How do I know what fulfillment is about? How do other people know? How can I help myself and serve all others do the same?” That’s when my journey of personal development and gaining clarity on my career path and my purpose started. I have been listening to Tony Robbins and I love what he says. “Achievement is a science. Fulfillment is an art,” but here's the thing. The art of fulfillment is the most important thing of all because it has to do with your inside world.
You can achieve all the success. You can be a billionaire and have everything externally. If you feel you are not mastering that internal world, everything that you get will feel empty because you’re empty inside. Many people have mastered the science of achievement and few have mastered the art of fulfillment. I want to give you an example because this has happened to me. I'm human and I'm sure you can truly identify with this. Have you ever been in a situation where great things are happening to you? Maybe, you are getting the clients you have dreamt of or the promotion. Everything seems to be manifesting outside of you and at the same time, your internal state is not matching the vibration of what you’re manifesting externally.
Even though the outside seems perfect and successful, you still feel sad, empty, doubting yourself or maybe you don't have the right confidence that you want. At that time, you realize that it's not about what happens outside of us. It's what happens inside of us, how we respond to the external circumstances and how we start mastering that inside world. When everything looks right on the inside, the outside is a projection of what we're feeling inside, but when the outside changes and good things are happening for you and you’re not feeling it inside of you because you’re not joyful, nothing that happens outside matters because everything starts on the inside.
Your internal world is the foundation for everything. Have you been in that situation where things are going great and you still feel that emptiness or that sense of feeling stuck? I’ve been there and I remember when I started my full-time career as a chemical engineer. That first year, I started to feel that way. I had everything that I was dreaming of. I was supporting my mom financially and my family in Cuba. I had this six-figure job, but I still felt that that was not what I was meant to be. Your internal state finds your external perception.
Here's the thing. When you master the art of fulfillment, you can do and achieve anything in the outside world. The information is out there. It's a science. You just need to have consistent focus and take consistent action. That's all internal work. This is why this episode is all about how to master the art of fulfillment and as you know, I always provide you with a framework to get there.
When I think of the art of fulfillment, there are three elements to master, clarity, growth and the ability to give. When we talk about clarity, it's all about understanding your direction and the person you want to be so you do the things you're meant to do and have the things you deserve. Many times, we feel in our lives that we are out of control. We are not controlling our internal state. Rather, we are just reacting to every circumstance that comes our way.
I love what Tony Robbins says. “Losers react. Leaders anticipate.” We have to be the leaders of our lives. We have to have that clarity of defining our direction. Where do you want to walk towards? Harness and be in control of our mindset or our internal state. When you’re in control of your inside and you have the sense and the knowing that you are in the driving seat of your life, that feels good. That makes you feel fulfilled because you don't feel that you're a victim of the circumstance or the external but instead, the external is being a projection of what you're feeling internally.
You feel in control because you are clear. When you're clear and you feel in control of yourself, then you start feeling fulfilled. Honestly, it is natural for human beings to want that certainty and want to feel in control, but the only thing you can control is the inside of yourself. When you have that control and clarity, that gives you that certainty that we are always looking for. Knowing where you're moving towards and what your direction looks like is a must.
Honestly, that is why in my coaching program, I guide my coaching clients after the release through a very detailed framework for them to define their reality and gain clarity on their direction because that’s the next phase when you have a clean canvas. It is creating your direction and who you want to be. I want to ask you a couple of questions that are going to be very helpful as you discover and gain clarity on your path.
Losers react. Leaders anticipate.
Take a moment to take a pen, a notebook or even your laptop. Write down these questions and start answering them. Do not overthink the answer or rationalize. Start putting pen to paper whatever comes out of you. That's what you need. That's the answer. Trust that the answer will come out. I have three questions for you in this area of clarity. The first one is, who do you want to be that you're not being? The second one is, what do you want to do that you're not doing? The third one is, what do you want to have that you are not having?
Many times, we feel stuck. We feel like we don't have control of whatever is happening around us. We probably don't, but you are the one taking decisions every single second of your life. Those decisions create the direction that you’re taking in your life. When you have a clear direction, it doesn't matter what happens on the outside. There is an intention to your actions every step of the way. That feeling that you're having control of your decisions and vision is what is going to give you fulfillment.
The second element is growth. To master the art of fulfillment, you got to keep stretching yourself and growing. You have that clarity and direction, so the important part is to take aligned steps that make you grow wiser and get closer to those steps. The only way to get closer to those steps is doing things you have never done before, which is equal to growing.
If we're not growing, we're not going to feel that internal fulfillment. As human beings, we are meant to stretch and create. That element of creation is very important in growth. Creation is also being exposed to different situations that challenge you. Tony Robbins always says, “The biggest problem human beings have is the belief that we shouldn't have problems.” Get this in your mind. Problems make you grow when we see them as challenges because they are.
The more you grow, the more complex challenges you will face. You'll become wiser and ready to do more and do bigger things. Since we are going to face challenges anyways, why not enjoy the process of troubleshooting and figuring things out? You have that potential. You can own whatever you put your mind and heart into. I have a question for you about this element of growth. What is the next challenge you want to take on to continue growing? What is the next level for you? How are you going to continue growing?
The last element or third element of mastering the art of fulfillment is the element of giving. Life is more meaningful when we share it with others. We all know that, don't we? As we gain clarity, continue defining those steps that will make us grow because we'll be facing challenges, no doubt. How do you want to use what you have learned and grown into to create an impact in this world to help others? What is your approach to using your gift to give to others? What’s the impact that you want to create in this world? How do you want to give? How are you giving back?
Something that I love that I've learned about myself is that I love mentoring and coaching others. That's my profession. Also, on the side of coaching, I enjoy mentoring other coaches that are starting their path. I'm mentoring four coaches that are being certified in the next few months. I truly enjoy sharing those experiences.
I've been mentoring two people, shout-out to Ben and Jennifer. They started being students and now, they're working their full-time jobs. They feel fulfilled and that they can make an impact. The mentorship was a big vehicle for that. For me, I learned so much from them. Mentorship is also about learning. You're also being mentored by your mentees, and that's what’s lovely. How are you giving? What do you enjoy doing? Maybe it’s volunteering or donating your time or energy. How are you giving back with your gift, whatever your gift is?
Those are the three elements to mastering the art of fulfillment. You have that clarity on how to continue mastering this art so you can start taking action. There is no time to waste. It’s now. That's the only moment we have. Remember, these three elements are clarity, growth and giving. For clarity, answer the following questions and I added this one from the ones before. Where does your fire come from? What makes you feel energized?
Honestly, if you want to find your passion, you’ve got to see how you respond to certain situations in terms of energy. For example, whenever I have finished coaching, mentoring or teaching sessions, I feel way more energized than when I started. Remember, energy cannot be created or destroyed. It just transformed so whenever you're passionate about something, that something is going to have more energy in you. You're going to transform whatever energy you have and you're going to feel more passionate and energized after you finish that activity. There is no doubt.
The biggest problem human beings have is the belief that they shouldn't have problems.
I'm truly passionate about serving you and helping you discover your purpose. I'm deeply grateful that you’re here with me on this episode. What is that for you? Who do you want to be that you're not being? What do you want to do that you're not doing? What do you want to have that you are not having? That's in terms of clarity.
In terms of growth, based on that clarity that you have been getting and that you have achieved from those previous questions that I gave you, what is the next challenge that you want to take on so you can continue growing? What is the next level for you? You decide that. No one else knows except for you because this is an inside-out journey. Everything starts on the inside.
The last element is the element of giving. How are you serving others? Those challenges that you have faced and lessons that you have learned, how are you sharing them with others? How are you giving back? How can you use your gifts to have an impact on this beautiful world? How can you empower others to do better and be better? Take a few minutes. You don't have to overthink this and make it twenty pages. Write down the answer to these questions. Remember, the quality of your life is directly related to the quality of the questions you’re asking yourself. Write down the answers.
I hope you enjoyed this episode and take the next step to continue mastering this art of fulfillment. You have the three elements to do so. If you enjoyed the episode, please share it with your friends and family. Let's empower as many people to live a purpose-fulfilled life that’s full of impact and full of giving back to others because we can do it together. I hope to see you in the next episode.
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