The Power Of Your Voice: Effective Public Speaking With The Toastmasters Mentor Nohemi Alvarez

We all have our own genius. And one way or another, we come up with brilliant ideas that need to be heard. It all comes down to delivery because not everyone can stand up in front of a crowd and speak. So if you are someone who struggles with public speaking, this is the podcast for you. In this episode, public speaking mentor and advocate Nohemi Alvarez talks about the challenges of delivering a speech and shares the importance of practice in overcoming stage fright. She also talks about Toastmasters and how it helps develop speaking skills so you can finally take your place front and center and raise your voice. 

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The Power Of Your Voice: Effective Public Speaking With The Toastmasters Mentor Nohemi Alvarez

I am beyond excited and honored for this episode because I have someone that I’ll be interviewing who has been such a huge mentor, advocate, and role model for me in many areas, in the areas of leadership, public speaking, and mentorship. Her name is Nohemi Alvarez. I’m going to give a quick intro about herself. How are you, Nohemi? Welcome to the show.

I am doing wonderful. Thank you, Yanet.

I’m so excited. Nohemi Alvarez is a public speaking mentor and advocate, and she's so passionate about mentorship. Honestly, that's one of the reasons why she's here because we are going to talk about leadership and public speaking feedback. It is going to be a powerful episode. Nohemi is also a risk advisor for IT in oil and gas, so she wears many hats. If you don't know what Toastmasters is, it’s a leadership and public speaking club and Nohemi has mentored numerous speakers in preparations for competitions. She has also mentored several Toastmasters clubs. Honestly, she's their Toastmasters mentor because she was for me. She's that Toastmasters mentor for everyone.

She also holds the highest award in Toastmasters that a member can accomplish. That award is called the Distinguished Toastmasters. DTM is the acronym. How did I know Nohemi? It goes back to 2017. I did my research. In 2017, I remember starting to post Facebook videos because I knew that public speaking was one of my passions. I realized that the company that I was working for in oil and gas had two Toastmasters clubs and I didn't know what Toastmasters was about, but I knew he had to do with leadership and public speaking.

Nohemi was listed as one of the contacts. I reached out to her and we had coffee. I remember it like it was yesterday. She told me, “Yanet, you have to be in Toastmasters.” Literally, two months after, I became a member. To be honest with all of you, I relied heavily in Nohemi. She was such a big influence and a mentor for me. Every day I think about you because I do public speaking, coaching and communicating and leading better has been such an enabler for what I do. Thank you for everything you do with me and with everyone else.

You’re welcome.

Nohemi, tells us about your background. Where are you from and what do you do? I know I told everyone a little bit about it, but we want to hear from you. What is your background?

I was born and raised in Houston. I was raised on the East side of Houston and I started working at a very young age. Where I currently work, I’ve been there for many years. I started at the young age of sixteen and I feel very blessed to be employed at the same company for so many years. One of the things that I admire about my employment are the people that I’ve met.

A lot of them have mentored me, have offered to mentor me. That's where I get giving back. If people have done it for me, then it's only right for me to help others. To go back to where I’m from, my family was from Mexico. I would say in the early ‘70s, they came to the United States and my mom had me. That's how I ended up in Houston. Any questions?

Yes, of course. I have many questions for you.

About my background, there's so much that I can say, but I know we're probably limited on time.

We're going to get all the key knowledge from you, Nohemi, and we'll have you back one day, I’m sure. We're talking about public speaking and the influence that public speaking has on people's lives. It's something that a lot of people are afraid of doing. We're going to get there, but what was your journey? What has been your journey around public speaking and even about getting involved in Toastmasters? How has that been for you?

This is what I remember how it happened. We had a reorg at work and I was supporting some executive managers, and I had a difficult time communicating with them. I remember over the phone when they would call me asking for information. If I needed to collect information from them, I would start perspiring and I would start getting nervous. My words would jumble up. I knew that it would put me in a bad situation.

You have to put yourself in uncomfortable situations to be able to grow.

I remember hearing about Toastmasters at work. At that moment, after meeting with several executive, I said, “It's time for me to do something about this,” so I did. I attended the club. It was back in 2007. That day that I attended, they were having a Table Topic Contest. For those of you that are not familiar with Toastmasters, please Google it. You can go to Toastmasters.org and there's plenty of information, videos, anything you would want to learn about Toastmasters. It's basically known as public speaking, but there's so much more about Toastmasters other than public speaking.

I went and they were having a Table Topic Contest. Basically they ask a question and you answer it. They said, Do you want to participate?” My mind was saying, “No,” but they were so nice about it that I said, “Okay, I’ll take a stab at it.” They asked me a very basic, quick, easy question about children. Me having three little kids at that time, I should have been able to answer it, but I was so afraid. I got nervous. I remember my legs were shaking and I wanted to cry at that moment. Thinking about that moment makes me want to cry.

I left there so disappointed about myself because most of you know that we're so hard on ourselves, but again, the people were so nice and said, You did great. You did well. Don't worry. Keep coming back and you can get better.” I remember walking back to my building because it was a couple of streets away. I said, “This isn't for me. They're too good for me. I’m not good enough.” I didn't give up, though. They were very nice people. It's the safest environment that a person can go in. I went back and I kept going back. I kept seeing people do very well in speaking. At some point, something clicked and said, “I want to be like them. I want to be able to speak like that. I want to do that.”

How do you make that shift? What do you think shifted within yourself that you're like, “I’m ready. Let's do it?”

I think it was because there was so much in me that I wanted to communicate and I had a hard time communicating. I knew that I had good ideas or I had solutions to problems. I was afraid to communicate, so then I wouldn't share that information. That's what makes you a more valuable employee at work. That's what I’m referring to at work. I always felt bad for not communicating or sharing my ideas because I would end up saying, “If only I would have said this or that.”

I was so afraid to communicate. How is it going to come out? Looking back, Toastmasters taught me to share my vulnerabilities because I grew up with English as a second language. It was funny because back when I was growing up, it wasn't called that. I do remember taking Spanish classes in elementary. At some point, in some grade, we transitioned from Spanish to English, but I didn't know it was ESL until I started public speaking and I started making connections. I realized, “I think I was an ESL student. They just didn't call it that back then.”

I was able to vocalize and pinpoint what my issue was because I grew up speaking Spanish. In my neighborhood, we spoke Spanglish or we spoke broken English. I felt that in the environment that I was in at my company, my English wasn't good enough because I worked with a lot of people that English was the first language and were educated. I didn't go in with a college degree. I was only sixteen, still in high school. That's where I developed my fear even more of speaking up and sharing my great ideas.

I’m not saying that they're great because I thought they were great, but because a lot of people told me that I had some great ideas. Once I started sharing one-on-one with my supervisors or managers, they would say, “You need to share more of your great ideas. Just say it.” I feared, “What if I don't say it right? What if I used the wrong word? How are they going to perceive me?”

For those that don't know what Table Topics are, they are a section in the Toastmasters meeting. Honestly, the section that is the most intimidating to me too. It’s a section where you get to improvise the answer to a question or a quote that someone selects randomly. Sometimes they already have an order, but the speaker doesn't know the question or the quote. The speaker comes and then in 1 to 2 minutes, he needs to develop a quick speech, improvising out of thin air. That's what literally you're practicing. You're practicing thinking on your feet. Isn’t that right?

Yes, that is correct. I don't want to scare anybody away. Away from being a guest at a club, typically, they pick on the members and the guests have the option to answer a question or not. I want to mention that because I don't want people that have a fear of public speaking to say, “My first day, I’ll be picked.” Every club is different. They each have a different culture. They do it slightly differently. Although they all have the curriculum of Toastmasters International, it's an international club. It's around the world.

For those of you that travel, there are Toastmasters everywhere. Every country has a Toastmasters chapter. You are correct that Table Topics is the area where you can quickly get something out of attending the Toastmasters meeting. The trick is that you have to put yourself in that uncomfortable situation to be able to grow. I knew that I wanted to get out there and answer a question.

At first, I had this fear of like, “What if my words don't come out and I go up there and I jumble because I’m nervous and they don't come out properly.” In my heart, I wanted to answer that question so badly. Most questions are about your life or, “What's your favorite book? What's your favorite song? Maybe it’s your opinion about an important topic that's currently going on in your environment. That's the beauty of Toastmasters in helping you grow and sharpen your communication skills. You have to put yourself out there.

It's a lot of fun too because sometimes people make it fun on purpose with their answers. I remember laughing so much. Ray, I haven't talked to him for so long.

He is still a member.

He's a magnificent member of Toastmasters and he has this natural skill to be funny. I knew every time he would stand up I was laughing already in a good way. He has this positive energy around him.

Anything he says comes out funny. By the way, he was our Toastmasters Club president in 2022. I was able to mentor him in that role. It was challenging because of the pandemic. I told him, “Just do your best and let me know if you have any questions or need help.” I mentored him and he did well. I was so proud of him.

If you're interested in public speaking, of course, we strongly recommend that you try Toastmasters. When you go to a meeting, they are a highly structured meeting. Your time will not be wasted. There is a clear objective and intention to each meeting. That's why it's so efficient because you come into that room and you're going to get something out of there related to leadership, public speaking, whatever your intention is, even connecting with like-minded individuals. There are so many benefits. I’m talking about and I’m like, “I need to get back ASAP,” because it's such a powerful organization.

Let me add to that. For those of you that work at corporations, some of those corporations do have a chapter that could be considered private clubs, and there are also public clubs. In your neighborhood, when you go to that website, Toastmasters.org, you put in your ZIP code and it'll ask you for a radius of 10, 20 miles or 50 miles. I guarantee you, there are plenty of clubs where you currently live and they can meet in the evening. It's more convenient if you can't meet during work time.

Some meet in the morning for those of you early birds that want to meet in the morning before you go to work or get your day started. I guarantee you, there are wonderful people. You'll see some people that you might think are very good at speaking already, but it's because they've been practicing. As with anything, it takes practice. Some are good in one area and some in others. You'll see a variety of skills.

I appreciate you sharing your journey with English as your second language because to be honest with you, I had the same struggle. When I moved from Puerto Rico, which was a US territory, Puerto Ricans mainly speak Spanglish, 80% Spanish and 20% English. That's our Spanglish. When I moved here, I started working in this amazing corporation with people whose first language was English. I felt very intimidated. I was very aware of my accent, of finding the right word and so many things.

I remember going into this United Way meeting, which is a community organization. This leader was talking to the whole group and he had such a strong accent. He was French and he was a plant manager of one of the biggest refineries. I was like, “If he can do it, I can do it too.” I believe that all sharing our struggles and even showing up and speaking with an accent or not, whatever that is for you, it's going to inspire so many people to not use the accent or having English as your second language as an obstacle. Just share your story and show up in a world. That's so important.

The more that you start letting go of some of those thoughts like, “English is not my first language,” but go out and put yourself out there. What I’ve learned is that even though you pronounced the words differently, people know and adjust and they figure out what you're saying. They will put the story together.

You're communicating. Even when I look at people who speak purely English, they forget words too. They face the same challenges that we face. We believe it's different, but it's no different.

Here's another nugget for those of you that are bilingual. Think about it this way. You know two languages and those people that speak English may only know one. That's an advantage right there. It's good to spin it and put a positive spin on what you're thinking. If you have a negative thought, say, “I know two languages and that person may only know one.”

If you see people who are very good at speaking, that’s because they've been practicing.

Honestly, another way how I spin it, I was like, “I’m going to be the Sofia Vergara of personal development. She’s famous. She’s successful. She has an accent. I don’t know if in real life she has an accent, but at least on TV, she has it. She's super successful even with her accent. She's funny. Another thing that helped me is knowing that only 7% of communication is words. It’s our body language, tone of voice and all of those things. You don't need words. They play a big role in how you communicate in public speaking. You know the meaning of those words. That's helpful.

You've noticed I’ve done some gestures. Those are all the basic gestures that you will learn in Toastmasters. Also, body language. I picked up a lot of body language skills in Toastmasters. Sometimes if I’m talking about something serious, perhaps I want to make a serious face because if I’m serious, you're going to be serious. If you see that I’m happy, then you're going to be happy. If I’m mad, it might reflect on you as well.

That could be determinations on inexperienced speakers versus non-experienced speakers. If I’m crying and laughing, will I confuse you, for example? Those are all skills that you gain. It's not day 1 or 2 that you attend, but throughout your journey and experience in Toastmasters, you'll learn to pick up all of these skills and when to interject those gestures and body language to add more to your speech.

A lot of people struggle with that fear of public speaking. What I’ve also realized is a fear of being seen and being vulnerable. What are the biggest fears based on the mentorship you have done with too many clubs or many members? What are the things that people struggle with the most in terms of that fear and what are some tips that you can give to help them overcome the bump and get up there and share their story wherever they want to share it?

Some of the fears are what people are going to think about, the subject that they're talking about or whatever they're saying. That's very common. I even worried about what people were going to think. You just have to get to the point where you say, “I don't care what they think,” and that's a practice. You have to mentally keep practicing and telling yourself, “I don't care what they think. Nobody's perfect. I’m in a safe environment.”

Toastmasters is a safe environment. What I tell my mentees is, “this is where you practice. I want you in Toastmasters because I want you to shine outside of Toastmasters. When you meet with your managers, when you're doing that presentation, when you're doing a workshop, that's where I want you to shine.” You have your place of practice to shine and put it all together in what I call the real world.

I would say it's also a mind thing that you have to practice. It’s not only a vocal thing, but it's a mind thing that you develop your mind-muscle to say, “It's okay. Nobody's perfect. I’m going to do my best because there's no such thing as perfect in anything, including a speech.” It took me a while to learn that there's no such thing as a perfect speech.

One of my Toastmasters mentors, when I told them that I needed some time to practice my speech and rehearse it, he said, “How long do you give yourself?” I said, “A month is probably the minimum for me to prepare.” He said, “Why? Can I tell you something? There's no such thing as a perfect speech, but just go out there and do it. Give yourself 1 or 2 weeks of practice and different types of times to see how you do.”

That's what I needed to hear at the moment. I needed to hear that. There's no such thing as a perfect speech. Now I share that with my mentees, especially for those of you that are preparing to give a speech at work. Your boss isn't going to come to you and say, “You have 30 days to practice or 30 days to prepare.” What if you only have 1 or 2 days? You need to be able to put something together, structure it, deliver it and learn from that experience.

You use what you learned in the next task that your boss gives you. If you're your own boss, maybe somebody will ask you, “Can you come tomorrow and do a workshop?” You don't have a week to prepare for that workshop. You have to use all of those skills and do it. Put yourself out there and do it and then take the learnings from that situation and apply it to the next one. All we can do is keep making progress going forward.

I truly love what you said about learning because part of the mindset shift that I’ve done every time I have a workshop or a speech or even with these episodes is going back to the mindset of learning. I’m here to learn. There is no failure, only feedback. Whatever happens, I get to learn from it and get that lesson so I can incorporate it moving forward.

What you said, Nohemi, has been huge for me to do things that I’m afraid of. Every time I’m doing something new, that fear pops up and says, “I’m here.” It's important to have a student and a learner mindset. It's a lifelong process. To keep that every time, because like you said, there are no perfect people and there are no people who are experts on everything. We are continually learning step by step. I appreciate that.

That is a practice. If you take any nuggets out of this episode, it’s that in everything, you have to practice in order to get to where you want to get. It's not day 1 or 2 or immediate, but it's a practice. Give yourself some time to get there.

Eighty percent is showing up. You show up, practice and you become better at it. That's beautiful. The only thing that has helped me tremendously is to shift the focus from myself, what people are going think, am I going to say the right word, to actually the audience. I’m here to serve and to share my stories and all the knowledge that I have.

Even before a speech, I usually take a moment to set my intention and my intention is to serve as best as I can. It doesn't even have to be with me other than learning, but it's shifting into a value-added mentality or mindset instead of a self-focused, “What are people going to think about me?” I think that mindset shift is powerful too. I’m sure you also do that subconsciously.

Another vulnerability that I want to share that I might've mentioned in the past is it's very normal to think of the worst, the negative thought. It's very normal for us to do it. I know it's common for most people to think that. I’ve read that mindset is in us because way back in the caveman days, they didn't want to get eaten by big animals, etc. That's very common. However, the more that you practice on countering that thought, the better you will get at getting rid of that thought.

Sometimes you can let it go by. Don't entertain that negative thought and keep focusing on what your goal is. Keep focusing on the positivities of what you're about to do. That's what I can share. The other thing that I wanted to share is that I read a lot about self-help. I highly recommend it, especially for those of you that financially may not be able to attend workshops.

There are books are free at the library. You can rent or check out books online, the eBooks, the audiobooks. A lot of my skills I learned from self-help books. One of my favorite things to do is how I can improve on this area or that area. If I read a book and I get one thing out of that book, I’m already moving forward.

I love books too. We connected over that, to our personal development. Thank you so much for that. That was powerful. I got this question that came up to my mind. I’m going to ask it. Talking about vulnerability. I’m going to share too. It’s going to be a fun question to get people inspired and recognize that we are not perfect. What has been your most embarrassing moment when it comes to public speaking?

For me, there was an educational track that I wanted to complete and I was down to maybe a week. I put a speech together. It was actually a presentation. I put it together from one day to the next because my goal was to complete that by the due date. I had not shared my screen or put it in presentation mode in a while. There was an upgrade in the software. I was so confused. It was PowerPoint.

I was so confused because it automatically went and put the screens in two different views on my laptop. I wasn't sure what was going on. I constantly kept looking back at the screen that was projected. I felt so embarrassed at the moment because I felt that I was off track. Everything was not going well. I probably apologized. “I’m sorry. I’m not sure what's going on.” I started beating myself up in the moment because you're not supposed to apologize when you're speaking. At least, that's what I’ve learned. It's better for you not to apologize. Most of your audience are thankful that you're out there to share something.

One thing that happens to me is I get hot when I get nervous and I might start doing this and I’m sure I did everything that I didn't want to do. At the end of that speech, I was so proud that I got it done because I needed that credit. It goes back to what I said previously, that sometimes you have to put yourself in those situations. If I would have said, “No, I’m not ready. I need a few more days to prepare and rehearse and practice,” then I would've missed that mark to get it done on time for me to get that educational credit. All I focused on after that speech was, “I got it done.”

Some things probably went well, but for me, it felt that some things went bad, especially as an experienced speaker. You feel that you have people looking up to you and you put more pressure on yourself. When you're in situations like that, you let them know that even as an experienced speaker, you're not perfect. Things happen. The trick is to put yourself in those uncomfortable positions. Don't give up those opportunities. At some point, it clicked in my mind. I said, “Those are opportunities.” The more you say it, the more it sinks into your brain.

It's so humbling. It's an experience that reminds you that you're still a student. That part is beautiful.

Put a positive spin on that negative thought. 

I’m still learning.

I’m going to share mine. I wasn't corporate in supply chain when you met me. I was asked to give a presentation in the next week about a topic that I was very familiar with. I prepared the slides and my supervisor reviewed it. Everything was perfect. The night before, I was dating this guy. For whatever reason, we had a discussion or something. It was one of those nights where you don't rest very well. I probably slept 3 or 4 hours and I usually sleep 8 to 9 hours.

I remember the next morning came and this meeting was probably around 10:00 AM. I was drinking so much coffee. It was like one cup of coffee, I’m done, and another coffee, one espresso. I’m like, “I need to be energized for this meeting.” I was drinking all this coffee and I was like, “I’m going to get ready. Energy. Let's go.” The time came and I had my presentation. I felt good about it. I started talking, literally, after my introduction, I was trying to talk, but my mouth was so dehydrated from the coffee that words were not coming. This was an audience of executives and senior leaders. They were all trying to get me water. They're like, “Where is the water?”

I was like, “This is the most embarrassing moment ever.” I learned not to over-drink coffee. I didn't know, honestly, that too much coffee dehydrates you so much. Of course, to have water. I didn't have water at all, but after I got water, I felt a lot better and I finished. I got it done and I got the message across. At the end of the day, that’s the point. When I was drinking coffee before my workshop at this yoga studio, Loveland Yoga, I was thinking about the situation and I was cracking up. I was like, “That was a moment to laugh about.”

That's why I like to share stories because looking back, we can laugh at it. When I share my stories, I tell whoever I’m sharing it with, “I’m so happy that I can laugh about it. Nothing bad happened. I’m still here to share that story and laugh.” Bring Your audience, share your vulnerabilities. That's what people like to hear. Talking about vulnerabilities, one of my mentors said, “Do you want to know what people want to hear in your stories? They want to hear that dirt in your stories.” I’m like, “What do you mean?” “Yes. They want to hear that you're not perfect.”

When you share that you're not perfect, that you fell down and you found a way to get back up, that's how you can nag people. If you go out there and talk about how your life is perfect, like on Facebook, where people tend to put the good stuff, you may not make connections with the people. Once you show them that you're not perfect, that you have issues, you have problems and that's normal, you'll make connections and they'll want to hear more. They will want to be your friend. You might've shared something with them that made them think differently about something that they were about to do or brighten up their day. You never know how you touch people with your messages.

That is so true because how can people look up to someone that they don't identify with, that they are perfect? That doesn't even exist. It builds trust. I totally see it with myself when I listen to people. Honestly, I find myself asking, “What are their struggles? What are their challenges?” Usually, that's what I’m interested in when I hear people's stories. It is also interesting that you mentioned that. We talked about Toastmasters quite a bit. When we talk about public speaking, but there are so many skills that Toastmasters can provide. What are the skills that you have gained with Toastmasters and that Toastmasters can actually help people with?

One thing that comes to mind. When I first started Toastmasters, as I mentioned, I was very afraid and I stuck to it. I didn't know all of the opportunities that were going to come out of me, showing up day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year. The one skill that I developed is that I wanted to become a mentor. I wanted to mentor. I wanted to help people get up there and share their stories on Toastmasters. That became my superpower.

I never had a superpower before, but I got so passionate about it. I wanted to do more and help people, but I had to develop that skill of going up to people and asking them, “Can I mentor you?” I can find nuggets in people. I can see it. I can see things that they might not see in themselves. That's one of the skills that I developed and it's my favorite skill among other skills that I developed. I didn't see it in myself. I wouldn't end there because I had all these fears, not knowing I would develop that.

Let me share with you some of the opportunities states that came out of my Toastmasters experience. I was nominated to give a TED Talk in 2017 at my job. I almost said no because I was so scared. I knew I would deliver a speech in front of hundreds of people at my corporation. It was intimidating, but I didn't give up the opportunity. Although I almost did. I said yes. Once I said yes, I was committed. I was committed to doing the best of my ability. That's what I ended up doing. That was one opportunity that came out of it.

She did amazing. I was there in the audience. I remember it like it was yesterday.

What would develop out of that, I started mentoring future speakers to deliver TED Talks. I was considered a speech delivery coach, which is cool. I’ve been doing that as a speech coach since 2018. Along with mentoring members at the club, when I would see somebody visit regularly and I didn't see them go up there or maybe become a member and not deliver speeches, I knew that they would commit because they were showing up every week. I take them under my wing.

I have that conversation with them, “What is it that you want to get out of Toastmasters? Which area do you want to grow in? It's okay if you share your vulnerabilities.” That would make them feel comfortable. Whatever you tell me, I’ll keep it in confidence. If you don't want me to share anything with anybody, I’ll keep it in confidence. I won't share anything. If you're okay with me sharing in the future, just let me know how you can gain my trust.”

By doing that, mentee after mentee, I then started gaining experience on what they would tell me, that they would say how they wanted to do it or what their fear was, etc. I then became a speech coach. I became a mentor and the more opportunities started popping up. My youngest daughter graduated in 2018. When she was in high school, I believe it was in 2017 that she said, “Mom, my teacher's putting together a TEDx at school for the first time.” I told her, “You can help her because you're a Toastmaster and you'd like to mentor people,” because they listen.

They listen to my conversations. They listen to me at home. They listen to me talk about Toastmasters. Whether we know it or not, when they listen, it starts becoming part of their lives as well. She connected me to her teacher and she was so honored that I wanted to help her. She’s like, “Yeah.” I told her my background and that I had to remember the speech and Toastmasters.

I actually became their coach. We only had a little bit of time. I was able to mentor all of the speakers. I also included the other speakers to mentor the speakers of that TEDx chapter at that school. It felt so good to give back. That's the other thing that surfaced that I never knew. Looking back, I never knew all these opportunities were going to happen.

Even my managers. I always put it on my one-on-one that I was in Toastmasters member and a mentor, and some managers would say, “You're a Toastmaster. Can you go mentor this person or tell them about the club?” Managers' and supervisors’ job is to develop people. They knew that I had that skill. I started speaking it. I love to mentor and I practice it. In order for me to get better, I have to continue to mentor others.

I’ve been blessed in that area. If I had never gone back to Toastmasters, I would have never gained and had those opportunities that I have now. Now I put myself out there. I like to share that I like to mentor. If anybody feels that they need some type of feedback, they reach out to me. Sometimes coworkers might say, “You're a Toastmaster. Give me some feedback.” “What do you want? The raw feedback or do you want me to clean it up a little bit?” Everybody's different. Some people would be like, “Give me the raw feedback. I wanted that raw feedback. Don't hold back. Don't sugarcoat it.” You need to know your audience. You don't want to push or scare people away and never return to you.

I love your journey. Thank you for sharing. The beauty of Toastmasters is that even in the meetings, you get used to giving and receiving feedback. Everyone has a different structure, but the concept is similar. By practicing, you become much better and even get comfortable giving and receiving feedback every time you go to a club. That's another beautiful thing because feedback is a gift. That's the only way we can continue learning and growing.

One thing that I’ve learned is that that is the heart of Toastmasters. If we only show up and we deliver speeches, everybody goes and delivers speeches and we don't receive feedback, how will we know where we need to grow and where we can make some changes? What I’ve learned is that feedback is a gift because if I continue to do it a certain way and somebody doesn't tell me that there are options to do it differently, I’ll continue to do it the same way.

Saying that is, in Toastmasters, everybody's at a different level of giving feedback. Some people have a fear to give feedback, to evaluate a speech. That's why it's important. I hope we can inspire people to at least be a guest at a club in Toastmasters because it's vocalized who that member is, where they stand, a beginner member, an experienced or seasoned member. You can tell the difference in the skill.

I pay attention to my members. I know they're brand new and may not have experience giving feedback. I know that they might be afraid or they might not do the same job as an experienced speaker or an experienced member. I give them that space to practice and just, get started and give feedback. It may not come out the way I expected it, but it's okay. They're going to get better.

For those of you that are reading, put yourself out there and I guarantee you, because I pay a lot of attention to feedback and that's one of my expertise as well, is that people will not give you feedback because of the fear of not knowing how to say it, what to say because they don't want to hurt your feelings.

That's why, as we were talking earlier, I said, “My feedback is simply my opinion. Grab what you like and let go of what you don't like and throw it away.” Some people may not have the skill to go away with what they don't like. They might internalize everything and then they develop this like, “Oh my gosh.” Always remember that it's so only an opinion, especially the new speakers. If it's their first speech in Toastmasters, called the Icebreaker, I like to tell them, “This is only my opinion.” I keep it very simple. Maybe only find one thing in the area of improvement and that's it. Maybe it could be crutch words. “You said uh a lot. It's okay. Keep coming back and we'll help you get rid of some of those crutch words.”

In Toastmasters, you'll learn to pick up skills like when to interject gestures and body language to add more to your speech.

That's very empowering for them to continue going back. I love that.

I never want to push anybody away. I want to inspire them to keep coming back. That's what makes my clubs strong. It’s making those connections and making people feel comfortable. I feel that if I do it, then other members will see how I do it. They will learn from how I do it. I would hope that they'll also do it going forward.

You're right on in terms of most people or a lot of people are afraid of giving and sometimes receiving feedback because I see it on my coaching clients. That's something that I work with almost every client that I have. As we mentioned, it’s not only about public speaking but also At this point, I’m sure some of our readers are like, “You both have talked a lot about Toastmasters. I want to know how does a meeting look like.” I know that every organization has a different structure under the same concept. It's like a similar structure. In your club, what does one meeting looks like overall at a very high level? It’s so they understand the flow of it.

In Toastmasters, we'd like to start on time and end on time. That's always the goal. When the meeting is kicked off, we always follow an agenda. On the agenda, the president opens the meeting and then we have a member that's assigned as the Toastmaster of the meeting, then they facilitate the meeting. We typically begin with a theme. Every meeting has a theme.

Some of the easy themes are whatever event or holiday is going out in that timeframe. For example, February. If it's Valentine's, then we can easily use that as a theme. It’s Valentine’s. The theme means that throughout the meeting, we'd like to interject if you can. It's a little challenge. Taking the theme as an example, if I’m chosen as a speaker, then I will do my best to see if I can interject that theme into my speech.

Going back to the agenda. The Toastmaster opens up the meeting, then we have the prepared speeches. If I’m scheduled to deliver a prepared speech, they are typically 5 to 7 minutes. Some that are working on the higher levels of the education of Toastmasters might be delivering a 14 to 15 type of speech. It's all building blocks to give people an idea of different types of speeches.

After the speeches, then we have the Table Topics. That's where we bring in the Table Topic. The master has prepared questions. What the Table Topic master does is that person is to interject the theme into the question. If it’s Valentine's, some of the questions could be what was your most memorable Valentine's moment or what was the worst thing that you received for Valentine’s or what do you typically do for Valentine's?

Do you even celebrate Valentine’s? Those are all simple questions that the Table Topic masters can ask. If the members volunteer, they will ask the guest if they would like to answer a question. Sometimes the guests volunteer and go up there and answer the question. After Table Topics, maybe that's 10 to 15 minutes, then we have the evaluators. While we're doing the Table Topics, the evaluators write their written evaluations or notes.

Let's say if we have 3 speakers, then we have 3 evaluators. The first one comes up. If I’m the first speaker, I stand up. I like to stand up and they'll share their evaluation with me. That easiest format to use is good, better, best. If I do good, what can I do? Areas of improvement and then what did I do best? It’s very similar to an essay. You can start with an intro. There would be points and then your conclusion.

People come to me and say, “How do you evaluate?” Remember, back in school, you got the beginning, middle and end. In the beginning, you can come up with something that works for you to kick off your new evaluation. Some people get very creative and develop acronyms like WIN or WON or whatever they try to come up with. It's cool. You gain those skills as you show up to the meeting and hear what other people are doing or see how they're doing it. It's okay to borrow with pride. That's the evaluation. They have 2 to 3 minutes to deliver the evaluation. Each speaker gets evaluated.

What we do after that is there's also some voting. You vote for the best speaker. You vote for the best Table Topic answer or speaker. We have somebody that counts the ballot. You vote. You send a ballot secretly. Send it to the ballot counter. At the end of the meeting, the Toastmaster delivers a winner. That's good because some people are very competitive. I was never competitive. I was more on the, “Can we all get along and sing kumbaya?”

Toastmasters taught me to be competitive. When I started seeing people win, then I got that bug. I wanted to start winning, too, as a speaker, as a Table Topic speaker. Do you know what happened? That made me show up more and put more effort. I was never committed before Toastmasters. That's the other skill that I gained. I get to the point where I wanted to start competing in club speech contests.

Those are seasonal. They happen around February at the club. If you weren't at the club level, you keep going up to the next level, the district, etc. We've had people win at the district level and participate at the international level. I don't want to say a lot because I want people to learn to go up there. For those of you that are competitive, that's another thing that Toastmasters can help you in. It’s by participating in the contest and in meetings and getting that blue ribbon. There's something about that blue ribbon. When you get it, you feel so proud.

It's true. I was showing Cody a picture of me when I go to the blue ribbon and I’m like, “Baby, look. This was 2017.” You definitely feel proud about it.

When I received my very first ribbon and I remember in my club, we had a member that was very good at speaking. She read books all her life. In elementary, she read and her vocabulary was beautiful. She had no fear of speaking. We became very good friends. She told me that she wanted to polish on her leadership because she already knew she was good at speaking. My goal became to beat her. The day that I beat her, I was so proud because that was one of my goals and it happened.

I still look up to her because she's such a good speaker and writer. You can develop those skills by practicing. She'd been practicing reading since she was in elementary. That's how she got good. For those of you that have that, “I’m not as good as that person,” it’s because they'd probably been doing it for a long time. Now looking back, I have been in Toastmasters since 2007, but now you've given me the opportunity to interview. I wasn't going to say no to the opportunity, but back in 2007, I probably would have ignored your request. I’ll delete the email.

I appreciate you being here and sharing all this knowledge and experiences with us because sometimes we need a little push and sometimes we need to understand better the benefits. You have extensively talked about the benefits of Toastmasters. Let's assume someone is out there and they're like, “I’m ready to learn more. What do I do?” They go to Toastmasters.org. They write their ZIP code. They find chapters that are close to that person. I know you have a recommendation because you have told me before, but I want you to say what do you recommend the next steps to be after that. After they made a list of the clubs they may be interested in, what is the next step?

The next step is to go visit those clubs because every club has a different culture. I recommend for you to find the club that fits you. Some might be a little more professional and not joke around. Others might joke around a little bit more. They might meet for an hour and a half to have that extra space to have some type of dialogue. There's a club out there for you. Maybe the first one you attend may not be for you, but if there's five that you want to visit, visit every club.

When they ask you, because they're supposed to ask you, “What inspired you to come and visit our club?” You tell them why. Share a little bit about you. “I want to sharpen my leadership skills. I want to sharpen my communication skills. There are five clubs that I want to visit. This is my first I want to visit.” Whatever you want to share. If you don't feel comfortable, just share something and start that journey of having fear by taking my advice and share something.

I tell my mentees, “Once you say it, it makes you feel so much better because nothing's going to happen when you say it. It's a supportive environment.” The first step is to visit. After the meeting, the officers typically hang around. Ask about the fees. There's a fee for membership, which is $46. It's the best investment on yourself, but they may also have other fees. Some clubs might only have an extra $2 or $5 or $20 per year.

That’s per month if I remember well.

The Toastmasters International fee is every six months you pay $46.

That is nothing. The return on that investment is huge.

The other thing is when you search it, it might say whether they meet weekly. I recommend weekly because weekly, if you can attend, you get more benefits out of it. Some clubs might only meet twice a month. If you skip one, then you only have one meeting per month. Do what fits your schedule. I talked about the money part for those people that might be on a strict budget.

Practice is not only a vocal thing; it's a mind thing you develop.

Once they like it, they're like, “I like this one,” you pay the fee and then you start attending the meetings, practicing, getting involved in the community. That is beautiful. I appreciate it. Last question before we conclude, are you ready? There is a rapid-fire question that I make. There will be more questions, but they are quick. Last question. Do you have any routine or anything that you do before delivering a speech? Do you have any rituals or routines? How does that look like?

First, I deliver a speech. I take that in different ways. One is when I get to the meeting and they kick it off, I sit there and I smile. I look around at everybody. I acknowledge the audience that Peter, James, John, etc., and I make eye contact and look around and I smile. There's something about smiling that affects your brain. I sit there and smile because if I sit there and I’m nervous like, “How am I going to do? What if I don't do well?” That's going to send different messages to my brain. That's one thing that I love to do. The other thing that I do is if I’m the first speaker, I go up there and I am feeling a little bit nervous, nervous is good.

It's a sign that you care about what you're going to say. Everybody gets nervous. If you look at videos about professional speakers, they will tell you that they still get nervous. Nervous is good, but don't look at being nervous as a bad thing. Don't let that keep you from delivering a speech or a message. I go up there and if I’m feeling nervous, then I’ll do this. I’ll use my arms to release some of that nervousness or energy and get it out. That's what I do. I sneak that in some way, especially in Toastmasters when there's either at the beginning or towards the beginning when we say, “Hello Toastmasters and guests.” That's when I take advantage of the opportunity to release all that energy.

Always remember that maybe after the first 30 seconds or the first minute of your speech, your body and your mind tells you, “It's okay. Everything's going to be okay. Nothing bad is going to happen. You relax.” Keep that in mind that your mind will eventually relax once it knows that it's a nice, safe environment. Always keep in mind that people want you to do well. They're there to support you. Thinking that something bad is going to happen, counter that thought and say, “No. My audience is here to support me. They want me to do well.” That's pretty much anywhere that you go to speak. They want you to do well.

I totally agree with your routine. I have a similar one. The one that I follow is to set an intention. “I hope that this message impacts the people in front of me, my audience and that it adds value. I also hope that whatever words come, they are the ones that are meant to come.” I do not want to be perfect. As you do, I also adjust my body. I have these anchors that I use to get right into that state. I adjust my body in order to get to that power state and deliver. It's true. Sometimes at the beginning, you're a little bit nervous and then you get used to it. You start enjoying it and having fun. That's my favorite part.

When I was president of the club, during the meeting, I would write notes. I would write notes and I would acknowledge who was a little bit more nervous or who did this or who did that. As a leader, because I was also developing my leadership skills, I wouldn't mention names. Maybe I would say, “I noticed this and I noticed that,” then I would give him a recommendation. For those of you that might feel a little bit nervous, I would give them a tip.

For those of you that maybe use a lot of crutch words, the simplest tip would be to pause for a little bit. Maybe your mind is going a little bit too fast and you have to pause or use your crutch word to help you get to your next thought. I love to give them little tips. All those little nuggets are what makes a club strong because you're constantly sharing with them. You're not going to learn everything in the first session or the first six months, but you have to stick to it just like everything else. Let it be a part of your life.

I'm finding your voice, knowing that you don't have to be like Nohemi or Yanet, but getting comfortable on your own skin and talking like you do. Speak in a way that feels genuine to you. That's one of the biggest things. Nohemi, I enjoyed these so much. What about you?

Me too. I don't want it to end. I love to help people. It's my passion. I want to share more. Maybe we'll do part two.

We can do parts 2, 3 and 4. This show is going to be here for years. I got you.

I want your audience to reach out to you if they do attend a meeting because you can connect me with them. I could still mentor them, even though we may not be in the same club.

Everyone, if you go to any club, reach out to me and I’ll connect you with Nohemi. She's passionate about mentoring anyone who wants to get better in this area and anyone in Toastmasters. I know she's passionate. She's saying it, but I know it based on experience. She has been one of the biggest mentors I’ve had in this area. Toastmasters has helped me so much with opportunities as I transitioned from corporate to full-time entrepreneurship, getting on my feet, pivoting, experimenting, getting feedback.

I cannot speak highly enough of Nohemi and Toastmasters. Please try it out and reach out and let us know. We are here to help you. Are you ready for the rapid-fire questions as we finalize this? These are very simple questions. I want you to answer whatever comes to mind, the first thing, just trusting your thoughts, just like Table Topics.

I like rapid fire. I actually had an icebreaker in my team and we did the rapid fire because I wanted everybody to have the opportunity to talk. That's the skill that I learned in Toastmasters. I was able to ask every single person a rapid-fire question. I appreciated that my prior boss would give me the opportunity to do whatever I wanted to do when it came to inclusiveness. I’m ready.

What's your favorite book?

I don't have one favorite book, but I’ll tell you, memoirs and autobiographies. They're all my favorite books because there's a nugget in every single book that I read.

We love stories. What was the last one that you read?

The one that I’m reading now is called Crying in H Mart. I don't like to research much about the person that wrote the book because I want to learn from the book. It's difficult not to go on Google and see who this person is if I don't already know them, but I don't want to say much about it because I want you all to read it.

That's the one I’m currently reading. I love to hear people's stories because if they're popular, some people, I don't know that they're popular because I may not watch that stuff on TV or on streaming type of applications. Sometimes the people that you do know, what you see on TV, a lot of times they portray as perfect or people talking about them like they have this perfect life. When they start writing their book and they share all their vulnerabilities, you start thinking, “They're just like me.” You appreciate that they're sharing their vulnerability. A lot of times, you don't know their vulnerabilities until you read their book.

That's what I love about memoirs. They have inspired me to write a book of my story because I want to inspire somebody, especially if somebody came from the neighborhood that I was raised or any neighborhood, but that's what comes to mind in a moment. I want to inspire them so that they can become like me. They can become successful and do a lot and take advantage of opportunities.

I can't wait for your book. I’ll interview you when the book comes out.

I even have a title. It's called The Girl From Avenue J. I grew up on Avenue J in the East end of Houston.

That sounds appealing to me. I’m curious about it too. Describe yourself in one word.

I would say passionate.

There's no such thing as a perfect speech, but just go out there and do it.

What are you the most proud of?

I’m the most proud of my children. I feel that I did my best at raising them. Not perfect, but I did my best and I’m still learning.

Your daughter graduated. I’m so proud.

My youngest daughter graduated from Sam Houston University.

What's the best piece of advice someone has ever given to you that you can remember?

What I can remember is in one of my prior roles, I worked very closely with managers and I had to collect some information. That manager was a very good mentor. He was the type of manager that everybody loved. Everybody looked up to him. He was very open. I shared with him something about looking up to our management. He said, “I never want you to say that again or to look up to me. We are peers. I might make more money than you because of my position but we're peers. Never look up to somebody.”

I developed that because in my culture, the Mexican culture, we’re very hierarchical. You look up to your parents, grandparents, your tios and tias. It's very hierarchical. You tend to use what you learned in your life, at your job, etc. That moment was so special when he said that because from then on forward, I was able to share it with my friends. I just make more money. The same bad things that can happen to me can happen to them.

We are all on the same platform. That's beautiful. I don't know if you read the autobiography of Michelle Obama, Becoming. Have you read the book?

Not yet.

I love it. One of the things she says is, “I’ve sat with the most highly respected individuals at a table, in a meeting. Let me tell you, they are not that smart.” It’s almost like a wake-up call because you see all these people that are famous or leaders in the country. You're like, “They must be so smart and have their stuff together.” They're not that smart, to be honest with you. It was such a big wake-up call, just like your boss told you, “We're all peers. We are all growing. We're all here.”

That's such a beautiful message to end these interviews. Do you have any final thoughts? I know you mentioned, “If you guys want to connect with me, reach out to Yanet,” but I don't know if you want to share your Facebook or LinkedIn or whatever you want to share.

I don't do a lot of social media. I do have Facebook. For those of you that would like to reach out to me, it's Nohemi Cantu Alvarez. You can also send me a message through Messenger and we can connect that way. Here's how I justify very limited social media. I do my best to manage my time. I put myself in a situation and I say, “Do I want to spend my time on social media or do I want to spend my time reading?” There's something about reading and connecting with people through books that I choose reading over social media. That's why I only have Facebook. I don't post a lot. I connect with friends from way back in elementary. That's one of the reasons why I don't like a lot of social media because I feel that it'll consume more of my limited time. I want to spend it more on reading.

Nervousness is good. It's a sign that you care about what you say. 

It makes sense. Let's do this. If you want to reach out to me, reach out to me, and I’ll text her. I can connect. That way may be more efficient. Thank you so much for being here. You are an amazing human being, an amazing mentor. As I said, she's the Toastmasters mentor. Thank you again for your time. I know you're super busy, so I appreciate it. I hope and I’m sure our readers benefited from these interviews so much. Thank you so much.

You're welcome.

Thank you for tuning in. I’ll see you next time and Nohemi too because she's a fan of the show.

One more thing I want to say is for those of you that are reading, be a guest on Yanet’s show.

We love bringing new stories, new people and new journeys.

Take that step. Take advantage of an opportunity.

Thank you so much now, Nohemi. Take care.

 Important Links

• Nohemi Alvarez
• Toastmasters.org
• Crying in H Mart
• Becoming
• Https://Calendly.com/yanetbcoaching/clarity-call
• Https://www.ybcoaching.com/wellness5minsroutine
• Https://www.Facebook.com/yanetbcoachinghttps://www.instagram.com/yanetbcoaching/
• Https://www.Instagram.com/yanetbcoaching/
• Https://www.LinkedIn.com/company/yanet-borrego-coaching/?Viewasmember=true
• Https://www.YouTube.com/channel/ucqxl829o0vk-qdy12f-ggmw

About Nohemi Alvarez

Nohemi Alvarez is a public speaking mentor and advocate. She is very passionate about mentoring others to use their voice in a powerful and meaningful way. Nohemi is also an IT (Information Technology) Risk Advisor for an Oil & Gas company. She has coached and mentored numerous speakers in preparation for speech contests, TEDTalks, including several Toastmasters Clubs. She holds the highest award in Toastmasters that a member can accomplish, the Distinguished Toastmasters (DTM) award.