This One Thing May Be Preventing You From Getting Your Desired Outcome

It can be so easy to fixate on the worst-case scenario because we believe it is better to manage expectations than find ourselves disappointed. But just because the present scenario clouds the desired outcome doesn't mean it cannot be a reality. In this episode, Yanet Borrego shares her insights on how you can turn the unfavorable scenario by changing your mindset and focus. She also talks about the importance of having trust and faith, that everything is working for our contribution or for the greater good of ourselves or our growth. Tune in to this inspiring episode to realize how we have more power to create every element in our lives than we give ourselves credit for.

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This One Thing May Be Preventing You From Getting Your Desired Outcome

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Welcome to episode 52. I cannot believe we have released the 50th episode weeks ago. It has been almost a year since I released this show for the first time on October 19th, 2021. Week after week, we have been releasing new content for all of you. I have one hope. I hope you have been enjoying the content and the stories because there was one purpose when I released this show. The one purpose was to create an impact on all of you could to continue building a more empowered mindset. When we are more empowered, we are one step closer to realizing our highest potential.

I truly believe that we are here in this life to experiment and also to unlearn what we have been programmed to believe, to peel off all those layers of limitations and projections that other people have imposed on us. We can start learning who we truly are because the more aligned we become, the more abundant we also start realizing we are, and the more wealth we start creating in every element of our lives.

The only thing I want you to do is to get to know yourself deeper and deeper every single day. I hope this show is an enabler to help you get there. If you have been enjoying all these episodes, I want you to please share this show with at least a friend or a family member. If we all share the show with one person, this is going to create a bigger ripple effect on everyone else around us. If you want someone to show more empowerment, send them one episode of this show. You have 52 episodes to choose from. There is a lot of diversity. There are a lot of options. One more time, thank you so much for being here. Thank you for reading.

I'm so excited because we are going to talk about one pattern that I see the most in the people that I've worked with and that I see in myself. I've been coaching and mentoring people for several years. For the last few years, I've been doing it as a business with paid clients. There is always one behavior, one mindset that I've always seen in everyone that I work with. Most people are focusing on what they don't want most of the time. Most people are often focusing on the worst-case scenario most of the time.

I'm going to dig deeper into what this means and how we can course correct and how we can shift this mindset to start seeing the possibilities. I want to give you a quick example that is going to illustrate this on a basic level. I'm a big fan of stories and examples because sometimes we can get deep with these terms. It's important to illustrate them so they can make more sense.

How Our Mind Process Information

My mom came back from a two-month trip to Cuba. As some of you may have read in the show, my grandmother and my uncle passed away in 2021. They were living in Cuba. We are from Cuba. My mom went back to Cuba to finalize a couple of papers related to their deaths. She finally came back. My mom is a huge help in our home here. She helps my husband and me in terms of laundry, cooking, and all these things. We miss her. You can imagine.

In the last few months, my husband and I have been in survival mode all the more because a miscarriage happened. All these things happened when she was away. We missed her. I picked her up from the airport and then I took her to this Peruvian place. My husband was also there. We ate. After that, we came back home and I was thirsty. The Peruvian food was relatively healthy, but it had a lot of sodium. I was like, “I need more water.”

We want to release the bias for us to create a new story out of uncertainty.

I was on the sofa, relaxing for a little bit, and watching some TV. I was like, “I need water. Where is the water?” I cannot find it. I kept looking at the table in front and I was like, “I swear that I had placed a glass of water here, but I cannot see it. Where is it?” I couldn't find it. I went to the kitchen and got another glass of water. I brought it back to exactly the same place that I was sitting just to realize that the glass of water that I had placed there originally was there already. I just didn't see it, but it was there.

Here's the thing, as I was trying to find that glass of water, I wasn’t myself. I cannot find the glass of water, “It's not here. I swear I put it here, but I cannot find it.” I was directing my mind to not see the glass of water. There is a lot of information in front of you at all times. There are 2 million bits per second of information floating all around you. Of those 2 million bits per second, we can only consciously process 126.

The cool thing about this is that our beliefs, values and past experiences direct what we can experience or what we cannot. Because I was telling myself, “I cannot find it,” I didn't see it. In order for the mind to prioritize information, the mind deletes, distorts and generalizes. For example, when I was telling myself, “I cannot find it,” my mind was obeying the command, and I didn't see the glass because it deleted it completely from my reality. That's one example of deletion.

Sometimes the mind generalizes to be able to process information. For example, if you had a romantic relationship, when someone cheated on you, it is easy afterward to say, “All men are cheaters. All women are cheaters.” That's an example of how we tend to generalize. It’s the same thing with unconscious bias. When it comes to inclusion and diversity, there are certain general beliefs that people relate to being Latin, to being Asian, or to being White. Those are generalizations and that’s how the mind process information also. We discussed generalizing.

The last type of processing that the mind does is distorting information. Distorting information is experiencing an event, a situation, and assigning meaning to that situation. That meaning may be totally distorted. For example, if someone is talking to you, and he or she is crossing her or his arms, you may think that they're closed off. You may think that they don't want to talk to you, and that they are mad because they had that body language. What if they're cold? Someone that is cold will cross their arms. That's a way that the mind processes that. In this case, it doesn't help us because we are making a lot of assumptions.

As a quick summary, the mind deletes, generalizes, or distorts information. It is important for us to be aware of this because every single day, we face different situations and challenges. If we are not aware that the mind is running these processes, sometimes we may be focusing on the limitations rather than on the possibilities. In the case of the water, I was focusing on, “I cannot find my water,” and I kept telling myself. I looked everywhere, but my mind didn't see it. When I came back, I had my water. I was more relaxed, and I realized I had two glasses of water.

Four Elements That Impact How We See Our Future

I'm telling you this because there is this element that impacts the way we see our days and our future. It is the element of focusing on what you want. This is something that I've discussed in previous episodes. There are four steps in order to create sustainable change and develop an empowered mindset. The first one is to release negative emotions and limiting beliefs.

Even if you are about to have a difficult conversation, before entering that difficult conversation, you need to make sure that you're mentally and emotionally flat. You need to release all the tension and all the intensity. If you want that discussion to be fruitful and productive, you’ve got to enter flat into that conversation. Here's the thing. When you resist or push, people push back. You resist even more. This happens with yourself too. That's why it's important to release and start with a blank canvas. This applies to everything in life.

With my coaching clients, even before we start coaching, the first thing we do is a breakthrough session. Let's release all your limiting beliefs and negative emotions in the area of life that we are working on. Why? It's not until we release that, that you cannot tap into new possibilities. Most people are reliving the stories of their past over and over.

We want to release the past and the past story. We want to release the baggage in order for us to create a new story out of uncertainty, to create a new story out of your potential future, because you don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. You need to let go of the past to allow space for possibilities. That first step is release. Getting to a blank canvas, be emotionally and mentally flat in a good sense, of course.

The second step after releasing is creating your goal or intention, or sometimes I call it creating your compelling future. Who do you want to be? What is a compelling future that you're walking towards? When I say the compelling future, I'm not referring to the same thing you have done in the past. I'm not referring to showing up like you have shown up in the past. Why? If you keep doing that, you're going to produce the same results. Creating a compelling future is pushing the boundaries of who you believe you are. The question is, “Who do you want to be?” Ideally, you have all the resources all the time, everything that you need in life, who would you want to tap into? Who is your ideal self?

That's step number two. In order to create sustainable change, you have to define your bigger why. That bigger why is very much related to the person who you want to be. Once you start showing up like that, the person you want to be, you don't feel the need to wait anymore for something to happen in order to feel that way and tap into those emotions.

The third step, now that you have a clear idea of your goals and your intention, the person that you want to be is to take action. I believe in manifestation and energy, but even with energy and manifestation, you’ve got to be able to show up on a consistent basis. It's a process. The things that you have been wanting happen when opportunity and luck intersect in your path.

Luck is a coincidence. Luck is like, “I cannot believe I met this person in a coffee shop. I needed to meet that person to get this opportunity.” Those are the coincidences, the ones that happened because of this universal intelligence that is always surrounding us. The world is happening for us, not to us. Everything that is happening in the world, believe me, is for your benefit. Even in the most challenging moments in life, you need to get a lesson there. Start asking yourself, “What is the lesson?” That's the third step, taking action.

You have to trust and believe that everything is working for the greater good of yourself or your growth for your contribution.

The fourth step, the one that I want to focus on is focusing on what you want, focusing on that positive outcome. That is the framework that I utilize every time when I'm going through a challenge. I utilize this with my coaching clients. When you master these four steps, you are going to start mastering yourself. You are going to start showing up in ways you didn't know were possible.

Let's focus on the fourth step, focusing on what you want. I want you to ask a question. As you face new projects and new challenges, do you see yourself future-pacing into the worst possible outcome? If you say “Yes,” you're not alone. Most people are often visualizing the worst thing that can happen. Most people are often focusing on what they don't want, and then they wonder why they are not getting what they want just like that glass of water that I couldn't see.

When you focus on what you don't want, the answer can be right in front of you and your mind is going to delete it completely. Why? It’s because your mind is following your command, the command of your beliefs, the command that you're telling your mind to execute. The mind is a mega computer, but like any mega computer, you’ve got to have the right code in order to execute what you want. Most people focus on what they don't want.

I have this coaching client. She's amazing like all my clients. We were coaching on a Friday. She came in and she's like, “Yanet, I have this opportunity to go into a conference. I need to take a vacation during Labor Day, but I just started this project. I'm concerned. Is it too soon to ask for a vacation? What if my manager says no?” I could notice that she was visualizing completely what she didn't want to face. She was visualizing her manager in these new projects saying, “No, you cannot take a vacation during this time. You cannot go because you just started.”

I asked her, “What if he says, ‘Yes, you do with your vacation whatever you want to do.’ What if the opposite happens?” We don't know what the future will look like. If that is true, why don't you start focusing on that side of the coin, on your desired outcome? Why don't you start believing it like it already happened? You are not asking for something unreasonable. You're just asking to go on vacation to take the time that you already have to take off.” She's like, “That is true.”

Believe me, this is so simple. In terms of understanding, it is challenging and difficult to apply, because if you don't have the awareness that this is happening, you don't have the power in you to course correct. I want you to take an honest look at yourself and at your patterns. When you're in a new situation or a challenging situation, or you're going to have a conversation that you're nervous about, you tend to focus on the undesired outcome. If this is true, now you're completely aware.

Whenever that happens, you can raise your awareness and course correct. You fall off-track, course correct. Do not assign any meaning in falling off track. We all fall off track every single day. What is important is what you do next. I want the next thing that you do is to course correct. Get back on and recognize, “This situation that I'm going through, I go through this all the time I swear even in the simplest situation.”

I’ve got new eyeglasses. I put on these new white glasses that I have here on my face. If you're looking at the YouTube channel, you can see it. By the way, we have a YouTube channel too. You can go there and subscribe. I’ve got these glasses and I left the doctor. I'm like, “I cannot see well.” I went back and told them. They were like, “Sometimes your eyes take a little bit of time to course correct to the new prescription.” I was like, “This has never happened to me but I'm going to give it a little bit of time.”

One week passed and I still felt I couldn't see perfectly well. I've been able to see with my previous glasses. I was like, “I need to tell the eye doctor. What if they tell me they cannot change it? What if they say, ‘One week has passed. Sorry, we cannot do it. The timing has expired?” Out of this simple situation, I started imagining all the negative outcomes.

I coach people on this and I even go through this. I have to course correct and ask myself, “Yanet, let's go back. Let's reel this in. We haven't called the doctor yet. Why don't you focus on the present? While you are back in the present, why not focus on that desired outcome that whenever I call the doctor, they are going to be happy to help me out because they are in the business of helping people? Why am I focusing on what I don't want?”

Effectively, I called her. They were so nice. They were like, “Come back. We’ll troubleshoot. We’ll make it work.” All these nightmares that I was imagining in my mind never happened. I know I'm not the only one who goes through this pattern because I see it with my coaching clients all the time. My client, the one that I was a little bit afraid of asking for a vacation, that same day, that was her homework. Ask your manager for a vacation. She asked and he was fine with it. All these nightmares that she was imagining in her mind were not true.

The Opposite Is Also True

I want you to start focusing on this. I want you to start practicing this. Whenever you see yourself focusing on the negative side of the situation, remind yourself that the opposite is also the true. It is also the truth because it hasn't happened yet. When we do this many times, we are not in the present moment. We are going out of the present moment to future-pace into the worst thing that can happen, to project and visualize the worst thing that can happen. We are visualizing all the time in our brains, in our minds.

I want you to take the opportunity to reflect back. Whenever you see yourself running this pattern, remind yourself that the positive of this situation is also the truth. As you continue going through life, growing and experiencing new challenges, you're going to become to master this new pattern of focusing on the possibilities and on what you want. That's why the second step to creating sustainable change is to have a compelling future. It’s something that is going to move you in that direction on the worst days of your life.

You're going to think of that future. That is going to be strong enough to move you in that direction. You’ve got to remind yourself. You’ve got to focus on what you want as you continue moving forward. That's going to be your bigger why for you to show up even more empowered every single day. I hope this was super helpful. All the examples, the stories, and the concept of focusing on the positive.

Honestly, if you master this, you can attract and manifest many things because you're going to be instructing your mind to find the solution for you. You're going to be instructing your mind to find those opportunities, and you will find them. I don't have the minimum doubt. You’ve got to have trust and faith that everything is working for the greater good, for yourself, for your growth, and for your contribution. Again, I hope this was helpful. Please share with your friend or with your family members. I appreciate you. Thank you again for tuning in to the show. Have a wonderful rest of the day. Take care. I'll see you next time.

Important Links

• https://Calendly.com/YanetBCoaching/Clarity-Call
• Clarity Booster - 3 Questions Framework (YBCoaching.com)
• https://www.YBCoaching.com/wellness5minsroutine
• https://www.Facebook.com/yanetbcoaching
• https://www.Instagram.com/yanetbcoaching/
• https://www.LinkedIn.com/company/yanet-borrego-coaching/?viewAsMember=true
• YouTube Channel - With Clarity & Purpose